


Just A Little Bit Longer

by Resmiranda



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bittersweet, Blow Jobs, Canon-Typical Violence, Cheating, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Infidelity, M/M, Major Illness, Minor Character Death, Non-Linear Narrative, Rough Sex, Sad with a Happy Ending, This is a rough ride but our boys end on a good note, and by that I mean the Turks and Rufus are fine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27851982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resmiranda/pseuds/Resmiranda
Summary: "Just a little bit longer."If Reno had a gil for every time he heard that… Well, it probably wouldn't be enough to put him in the next financial bracket, but it damn well felt like it should.-For years, Reno waits for Rufus to succeed his father so his lover can finally break things off with his unwanted girlfriend. But the road to happiness is filled with roadblocks and pitfalls. Their story, told over the course of the entire compilation, tests their wills and their love.
Relationships: Minor Reno/Rude, Reno/Rufus Shinra, Rufus Shinra/Original Character(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 44





	1. Almost Love

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this in May. Then I somehow got roped into RP. But thanks to NaNo and my friend [Nikasha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikasha/pseuds/Nikasha), it is now here, a finished product I will upload by chapter on Wednesdays.
> 
> The story isn't always linear, so I advise reading the dates.
> 
> Not beta'd, so please feel free to tell me of my typos so I may embarrass myself less.
> 
> Drop me a line, if you like! I am very nervous about this story, lmao. I haven't done a chaptered fic since 2016.
> 
> Chapter titles are taken from songs. Chapter 1 is Almost Love by Sabrina Carpenter
> 
> My entire Reno/Rufus playlist for this fic can be found here: [Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJOhOL7IdH-AcehJfPoAM04Qq8U35xCDL)

_Shinra Corp, December 30, 1999_

Rufus tripped walking into the bathroom, arms flailing a moment before he managed to tilt into the wall for support. He quickly scanned his hand on the pad next to the door, locking it before someone else could waltz in and witness his disgrace.

Only it was too late.

“Whoa, Boss, just how much have you had?”

Dumbfounded, mind slowed by the amount of alcohol coursing through his veins, Rufus merely stared at the most recent addition to the Turks, Reno.

“Not enough,” Rufus finally mumbled, surprisingly clear for how unsteady he was on his feet. He wrinkled his nose, and did a double-take of the man. “How are you smoking in here?”

Two red eyebrows raised in amusement. “I disabled the smoke detectors,” he said it like it was obvious. In retrospect, it should have been. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be on security detail?”

Reno pulled on his cigarette. “Eh,” he offered with a throaty chuckle that was… oddly appealing. “You’re here, ain’t ya?”

Rufus squinted at him. “You couldn’t possibly know when I was going to use the restroom.”

“Couldn’t I?” he retorted with an air that was far too knowing. Rufus frowned, unable to tell if he was bluffing, but before he could get his thoughts in order Reno asked a question of his own. “So, what? Getting smashed with a bunch of rich dickheads not fun anymore?”

Rufus propped himself against the wall a little more comfortably and eyed the man across from him. “It was ever fun?”

Reno grinned. “It can be, if you do it right.”

“And how does one ‘do it right’?” he asked tiredly.

Chuckling sinfully, Reno leaned one hip against the sink counter. He took a slow drag that arrested Rufus’s attention before shrugging. “Oh I dunno. Can always blow some shit up for a good laugh. Nick a few valuables... Fuck.” Reno waggled his eyebrows, somehow making the motion seem more sensual than silly.

Rufus couldn’t seem to look away from Reno’s mouth as his sluggish brain processed the words.

“Are you propositioning me, Turk?”

Reno’s eyes went wide in his face, his complexion paling.

“Whoa, Boss. The fuck? I mean… You… You’ve got…”

“Arianna?” he offered, somewhat annoyed at the very mention of his “girlfriend.”

Reno nodded and pulled on his smoke. Rufus, slowly, so as to not lose balance again, pushed off the wall and squared up to the Turk, close enough to see Reno’s throat bob as he swallowed.

“You know as well as I do she is only by my side because my father decided she’d be.” He didn’t bother to hide his sneer, speaking volumes to exactly how intoxicated he was.

“Yeah, but… you like her don’tcha?”

Calculating eyes landed on Reno, who fiddled with the cigarette. It was nearly at the filter.

Rufus sighed, suddenly looking more like a kid that Reno could ever remember.

“She is… pleasant enough. I sleep with her because I am expected to. I take her to functions like this because I am expected to. I might even call her a friend. But…” his eyes carefully ran over Reno, eating up every inch of exposed skin, lingering on the fine lines of his tattoos before meeting aquamarine eyes, “she’s not someone I’d choose.”

With a shaking hand, Reno made to pull on the last of his cigarette, and suddenly found it wasn’t in his hand anymore. Before he could do more than open his mouth, the warmth of sure fingers cupped his chin and a hot tongue invaded his mouth.

Reno moaned, and received answering grunt and Rufus fucking Shinra kissed him within an inch of his life until…

“Shit!”

* * *

_Shinra Corp, April 4, 0001_

_"Just a little bit longer."_

If Reno had a gil for every time he heard that… Well, it probably wouldn't be enough to put him in the next financial bracket, but it damn well felt like it should.

“Uh huh,” he replied dully. 

“I mean it, Reno.”

“You always do, Boss.” He fished a cigarette and his lighter out of his jacket pockets, lighting up to irritate his lover just as much as to sooth his own brewing ire.

“Hey.” The command in the word was unmistakable. Reno ignored it until one strong hand grasped his and forced him to meet icy blue eyes while another plucked the cigarette from his lips. The look Rufus Shinra, Vice President and heir to Shinra Electric Power Company gave him was enough to make most others shit their pants. Not Reno. He slowly breathed a lungful of smoke in the VP’s face. The hand on his chin tightened. Rufus opened his mouth, surely about to tell Reno off, when he surprised the Turk by leaning in and roughly nipping at his lips.

Reno responded automatically, pressing up off the wall and into his lover, a low groan building in his throat until...

“Shit!”

It was just like their first kiss.

Rufus quickly dropped the smoldering cigarette on the carpeted floor and backed off of Reno. The Turk immediately stomped on it before it could do more than melt a handful of fibers together. Rufus popped his fingers into his mouth to soothe the burn—a sight that had Reno chuckling. It earned him a fresh glare.

“How am I going to explain that to housekeeping.”

Taking Rufus’s fingers with unexpected gentleness, he placed delicate kisses on the raw tips of the man’s fingers, earning him a shiver that stoked his own flame that much hotter. He chuckled lowly.

“Same way you do everything, Boss. By not giving a fuck.”

Rufus snorted in amusement, momentarily forgetting both his pain and the marring of his carpet.

“I ‘give a fuck’ about many things, Reno,” he chided rather seriously.

Reno rolled his eyes. “Mmhmm.”

Leaning forward and tracing his lips up Reno’s neck, he paused to nibble on his pierced earlobe, earning him a quiet gasp. “I’ve made arrangements, Reno. Once my father is out of the way, I will no longer have to play this insipid game of house with Arianna. Be patient.”

Huffing, Reno pushed Rufus back a few inches and gave his lover a dirty look. “I ain’t a damn damsel waiting for a rescue. I know my place in this. I’m the damn slum rat concubine chasing down a good high.” He bared his teeth in an imitation of a smile. “I’m not waiting up at night for you to make me your damn boyfriend. You’re not the only one double dipping,”

If Rufus was surprised by the admission, he hid it well. A mild “Of course,” and a little space was all the reaction he got. It pissed him off. Could he tell he was lying? It had been true, once. “Have my secretary call maintenance on the way out.”

“Yes, sir,” he acknowledged with a sardonic little solute. He didn’t wait to see if Rufus noticed or cared. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and strolled straight out.

* * *

_Rufus’s Midgar Penthouse, May 10, 0001_

“Oh, _fuck_ , Rufus!”

The VP gasped as Reno clenched around him and pressed hot, opened mouthed kisses against his neck. Reno shivered and groaned as the kisses became nips, and then suction. He paused his rhythm in favor of grinding down, enjoying the fullness while the second most powerful man in the world left lovebites on his neck.

Pulling back, Rufus raised an eyebrow at him. He looked _entirely_ too sexy wearing that smirk while sweaty clumps of hair stuck to his forehead. Something in Reno’s chest clenched, and he rocked forward to steal that smug look right off his lips.

Surprisingly cool hands wound around his shoulders, pulling him closer and he started shallowly thrusting again, giving Reno _just_ enough stimulation to drive him mad. He pulled at blond hair, all fire and passion. Reno dredged up the strength to start bouncing on his knees again, little cries escaping his throat with every slap of ass to thigh.

With a growl, Rufus pitched forward, pinning Reno by the forearms and driving into him with such abandon that Reno started yelling.

 _“Fuck, fuck, yes, Rufus, fuck!”_ he mewled between gasps.

Rufus growled again and crashed his lips into Reno’s. A couple more hard thrusts rocketed Reno to his tipping point. He yelled Rufus’s name and fisted his hands in the sheets as he came. Rufus groaned wantonly against his lips and ran his hands up to thread their fingers together before he buried his cock deep and pulsed in Reno’s ass.

Reno couldn’t stop rolling his hips, coaxing every last drop of pleasure from both of them, before relaxing in a boneless heap. The air was pushed out of his lungs as Rufus collapsed on top of him. He slapped his back until he rolled off with a groan and an unpleasant squelch.

Reno sighed and stretched, whole body feeling pleasantly sore. Sitting at work would be a bitch tomorrow. Hopefully there’d be some leg work to be done. He didn’t mind a chance to kick back in the office, but he prefered to be busy.

Fingers skating across one of his cheekbones broke him from his reverie.

“You’re being awfully quiet,” Rufus offered in explanation.

Reno huffed a laugh and rolled onto his side.

“Worried about what I’m scheming, Boss?”

A smile flashed across the man’s face. “Always.”

Reno smacked his shoulder again, lightly. “Give me some credit, eh? I was just thinking that I hope there’s some action tomorrow.”

Stifling a yawn with the back of his hand, Rufus quirked a brow. “You? Thinking about work? In bed no less? Who are your and what have you done with Reno?”

“Ha, ha,” Reno retorted pointedly. He stretched his arms over his head again, emitting a groan, then sat up and slipped from the bed, fluid as water. Fingertips brushed his hip and Reno turned to look down at his boss.

“You don’t have to leave so soon, you know,” he commented softly.

Reno fought the urge to sneer. “It’s now or in, what? Another hour or two? I’d rather just get the uninterrupted sleep back at my place.”

While not exactly displeased, the boss didn’t exactly look happy either. He said nothing.

Clamping down on the acrid feeling rising in his gut, the Turk quickly found his clothes, donning them as he went, and left without another word.

* * *

_Midgar Underplate, May 11, 0001_

“There’s the mark.”

Reno flicked a glance at his partner, a smile stealing over his face. “Right on time. Care ta do the honors?” He quirked a brow at Rude, whose lips twitched in answer. His partner stepped out into the alleyway, Reno trailing a couple steps behind. He purposefully kept his head down and shoulders hunch. Rude was the intimidating one on Reno’s best day, but Reno had never had any qualms about playing the hand he was dealt. With a little extra effort the average slum rat would peg him as the weak one at a glance and look no further. 

He smiled to himself. He could almost taste the upcoming violence.

The two cronies glanced at each other suspiciously and then back at the pair of Turks. Wary, but not panicked. They didn’t know who they were yet.

Oh, yes, this was going to be fun.

“Hey, boys, whatcha got there?”

The two guys looked at him, each other, and then more seriously at Rude, even though he hadn’t done so much as lift a finger… yet.

A soft grunt from Rude had Reno scanning the surrounding for what was so funny. He cackled when he saw it, though he was fairly pissed at himself for not noticing immediately.

“Man, you guys couldn’t even bother to repaint the crates?”

The two underground tradesmen shared a far more panicked glance, catching onto the fact that they weren’t lost businessmen or a couple of bored bouncers.

“It’s best if you come quietly,” Rude advised. He meant it, too. Reno knew better than to offer.

It was the shorter blond one who dredged up some bravado.

“An’ who the fuck are you two?”

Reno grinned, all daggers, but held his tongue, willing to wait a little longer for the stage to be set. While he liked a good fight, he wasn’t about to needlessly waste his energy.

“We’re with Shinra’s Investigation Sector of the General Affairs Department,” Rude replied. “And you have something that belongs to the company.”

 _“Fucking Turks?”_ the taller one with shoulder length brown hair hissed. He’d be decent looking if he bothered to clean up.

“Tha’s us,” Reno happily slurred.

The blond one’s eyes narrowed at him, as if seeing him for the first time.

“You’re one of us?” It came across as more acusation than question. Reno cocked his head to the side.

“Pretty sure we just established I’ma Turk, not a black market scumbag.”

“Yer _slum trash_ ,” he emphasized, obviously annoyed. 

Reno looked around melodramatically, “Are ye talkin’ ta me?” he asked in his best overdone slum dialect. “I may be slum trash, but I’m _educated_ slum trash, thank you very much.”

Only years of working together told Reno that Rude’s sudden cough was actually a laugh. His smile grew a little sharper. He did do his best work in front of an audience.

“So someone hands you a suit and some money and you forget all about yer roots, eh? Ye can’t tell me you never did a dirty job before.”

Now _that_ was funny. He only knew he’d been laughing too long when Rude subtly adjusted his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. Both dirtbags were looking angry now.

Excitement started to burn low in his gut—different from arousal, but the zing it put in his blood not entirely different.

“Now you’re just shitting me. It’s called a better deal, shithead. They didn’t hire me for my squeaky clean hands.” He wiggled the fingers of one hand and brandished his EMR with the other.

The one with long hair narrowed his eyes and tried to subtly reach for something in the back of the truck they were loading.

“So far, all we’ve heard is ya runnin’ yer mouth.”

The brunet glanced at his partner, clearly questioning his sanity for provoking a Turk. Well. It was obvious which one would be telling them everything they wanted to know later.

“I’d be happy to dance with ya instead, sweetheart,” Reno purred.

Blondy reached into his jacket.

Reno bounced on his toes once before blurring into action, lashing out with his foot when a twinge of pain ran up his spine and he reflexively pulled his kick short, barely missing his mark.

“Dammit Rufus,” he grumbled, the man dancing back a few steps, pipe now firmly in his hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Rude give him an odd look. Reno ignored him and his sore ass. He charged back in, feinting to the left and landing a solid kick, pipe flying across the alleyway and into the opposing wall with a jarring clang that rang in the small space. “Oh no ya don’t!” Something shifted behind him, and he whirled on his heel, blinded kicking out and solidly connecting, an unseen third accomplice stumbling backwards. Reno gave no pause, striking with his baton this time, the tip kissing the neck of the asshole. He convulsed for a few seconds and then went down like a sack of bricks. “C’mon. At least make me break a sweat.”

Returning to his previous target, he took a step forward, the other thug took one back. Reno grinned, excitement burning through his veins. “What’s wrong? Too fast for ya?”

He moved again, grunting as the ache in his hips sharpened. His two kicks both missed, but moved the guy right into striking range for Rude’s fist. Reno laughed as the guy staggered. Movement from his right caught his eye and he quickly pivoted, bringing his left hand up to block the bat with his EMR. A quick glance and he knew how the next three seconds would go.

Right kick to the solar plexus. Right hand to grab and toss the bat. Left to strike with the EMR at the junction where neck met shoulder. 

The man went down.

“Too easy,” he told the man’s unconscious form, rubbing his lower back. With the voltage he’d cranked his weapon up to for this fight, he wasn’t getting up anytime soon. He looked up in time to see Rude take down the other guy. He chuckled again. “I’m tellin’ ya, the slums ain’t what they used to be.” He kicked the shoe of the lowlife closest to him. “These shitheads have gone soft. They’ll break in the first two minutes.”

Rude eyed him from over his sunglasses and he dragged the one he’d taken out towards the van. “You wanna bet?”

Reno considered it. He’d just been running his mouth, but didn’t think his prediction was an unreasonable one. “Loser picks up the tab tonight?”

“Deal.” Rude bent to grab the larger one and toss him over his shoulders. “Wait here. I’ll toss this one in the car and come back for the other two.”

“Hey, I’m strong enough to drag one of these fuckers over!” Reno protested.

“Sure,” Rude agreed easily. “If the Boss hadn’t reamed you so hard last night you can’t even land a kick.”

Reno’s mouth dropped open. “Rude!” he whined, betrayed.

His partner just readjusted the load on his shoulders and strolled away.

“That’s not playing fair, partner!”

Rude ignored him.

* * *

_Shinra Corp, May 11, 0001_

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Rufus called. There were only a handful of people who would come to his office unannounced and bother knocking. And of that handful, a certain Wutian man was much more likely than others.

The door opened, revealing an immaculately dressed man with black gloves and long, black, hair pulled into a ponytail. “Tseng,” he greeted, capping his pen and setting it down to give the man before him his full attention. “You have a report of the interrogation for me?”

“I do.” If Tseng was surprised he had hacked their logs again to learn of the apprehensions the Turks had made earlier, he didn’t show it. “None of them put up much resistance. I didn’t even have to change my clothes.”

The smile that curved Tseng’s lips would have put ice in the blood of lesser men. Turned on Rufus, however, it made him smile. He and Tseng had similar senses of humor.

“Please, sit,” he offered the wooden chair off to the side of the room to him. Tseng nodded his thanks and retrieved it, setting it across from Rufus and sitting stiffly on the edge, knees apart and elbows on them, gloved hands knit together in between.

“As expected, they had a contact on the inside. A Third Class member of SOLDIER by the name of Jax. It seems he has become embittered after being passed over for promotion several times.” Tseng procured a folder from the inside of his jacket and placed it before Rufus. “His dossier is inside. Ordinarily, protocol would be to terminate his position in the company.” Rufus nodded, understanding. “However in this instance, I believe he may have certain commonalities with interest groups of yours. Look the information over and give me your instructions. No need to trouble your father.”

Rufus returned Tseng’s pleased look. “Very well. I will give you my orders by the end of the day.”

Tseng nodded, “There’s another matter. One that Veld already assigned Reno and Rude to. It was out of my hands.”

“Tseng?” he asked sharply.

“There have been rumors that have been cropping up as of late. That you’re… cheating on Arianna with a man.”

Rufus did not move a muscle. He didn’t even breathe.

“We’ve been able to suppress and discredit these rumors. The ‘evidence’ submitted is obviously manufactured, because we have been able to confirm your location in each instance that has been presented.” Tseng took a breath, shaking his head a little like he didn’t believe what he was about to say. “It appears you have an imposter, sir.”

Rufus released the breath he’d been holding all at once. “What?”

“I know it seems… unlikely, but we’ve been able to verify that the pictures are real, just not of you. Though the likeness is considerable.”

“And Reno and Rude have been assigned to the case?” All things considered, Rufus thought he was taking the news well. In fact, this might even work in his favor. If any real images of him and Reno leaked now, there would be instant skepticism after a faked scandal.

“Very well. Update me on how your investigation progresses.” 

Again, Tseng nodded, but did not rise as Rufus expected.

“Was there something else?”

There was an uncharacteristic pause before Tseng spoke.

“Yes, sir.” Another hesitation. Rufus frowned, but Tseng got on with it before he could speak. “May I ask you something frankly, sir?”

Now Rufus was curious. “Go ahead.”

“What exactly is Reno to you?”

Well. That _was_ frank.

“You know what he is.” Tseng was shaking his head before Rufus was even done speaking, mouth set in a grim line.

“Let me explain. I’m asking because I have reason to believe his feelings run… deeper than expected.”

Rufus just stared at Tseng, shocked, but not for the reason he probably thought.

“It’s taken you this long to figure that out?”

To his credit, the only sign of Tseng’s chagrin was a faint blush on his cheeks. He went on without missing a beat. “Can I take it to mean you feel similarly, then?”

 _“Tseng,”_ he said, rather harshly. It wasn’t that Tseng dared to ask, but rather _where_ he dared to ask it. But dark eyes were fixed steady on Rufus’s undeterred and still waiting for an answer.

Rufus sighed. “I do.”

Tseng nodded, satisfied, and stood. “Perhaps you would like to get a drink with me this evening, sir? I hear Rude and Reno will be going out drinking tonight, as well.”

Hiding his laugh behind a cough, Rufus nodded. “I would like that.”

Plans set, Tseng exited the office; Rufus picked up his pen. Twirling it absently, Rufus wilted a bit in his seat. He knew this day was coming. Tseng had known about his tryst with Reno from it’s conception, hacking his way into the bathroom to find them with their tongues down each other’s throats and pants around their ankles. Rufus’s intervention was the only reason Reno hadn’t been formally reprimanded, and in the Turks that meant something somewhat harsher than in the rest of the company.

But somewhere along the line it had gone from stress relief to romance, the consequences of being found out so much greater than before.

In a way, Rufus was glad Tseng had finally put the pieces together. Perhaps he was in even more denial than Rufus. After all, he was pretty sure he hadn’t expected it to go beyond that drunken party.

And yet here they were, two years later.

Sighing again, Rufus uncapped the pen. He could wait to unpack this. Tonight, with Tseng and a couple of bourbons in him.

* * *

_Rufus’s Midgar Penthouse, March 2, 0000_

Reno felt so full he might split open. The feeling was right on the verge of pain, exactly the way he liked it.

“ _Mooooove,_ ” he groaned, trying to work his own hips and being firmly thwarted by Rufus’s hold. The little friction he managed just made him crazier. He slapped Rufus’s chest. “Bitch!”

That earned him a throaty chuckle and a few more seconds of agonizing stillness before Rufus jolted him with a sharp thrust that took his breath away.

“Oh, fuck yes. Don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop,” he pleaded as Rufus slowly built a jarring rhythm. He finally eased up his grip, allowing Reno to tilt his hips until his world lit up with a bolt of pleasure that raced through him and made his toes curl. Reno arched his back and ground into the feeling. “Yes, Rufus, ther- _uh_!”

Rufus drove into that spot again, over and over. Light exploded behind Reno’s eyes. _“Ah!”_ he cried, shooting like a fountain all over Rufus’s belly, blindly grinding down on his dick to get that last little thrill of pleasure. “Fucking, Ifrit, _yes_ ,” he sighed, trying to collect his breath as he came down. Fucked out as he was, it took him far too long to notice the evil gleam in Rufus’s eyes. And the moment he did…

“Oh, _fuck_!” The blond surged up and threw him back, immediately back to thrusting full speed. “Rufus, _nooo_ ,” he moaned, clawing at his back as he was fucked hard into oversensitivity. Rufus’s mouth was on his, on his neck, nipping his ears… Reno couldn’t seem to shut his mouth, could only moan and gasp for breath as his prostate was assaulted over and over again and he simultaneously felt like he was either going to have the most fantastic orgasm of his life or die of raw nerve endings. “ _Rufus, please_ ,” he gasped.

Reno could feel the bastard’s smile against his neck, knew how much he was getting off on scrambling Reno’s brains with his dick.

 _“I need to come or die, pleeeeease,”_ he whined. Rufus reached between them and palmed his cock.

Reno _shouted_ and blacked out.

Cracking bleary eyes open, the first thing Reno saw was an extraordinarily handsome face staring down at him, lips moving in what he belatedly recognized as his name. He smiled, up at him. It was only when he tried to sit up that he realized Rufus was holding his face. That was weird. Rufus had never been that affectionate before.

“Thank Leviathan,” the blond sighed, forehead pitching to rest against Reno’s. He could still feel the sweat on their skin, so he couldn’t have been out that long. “I’m _fine_ you pansy. You succeeded in fucking my brains out. Congratulations.” Reno slumped back into the cloud-like mattress, boneless.

A hard swat to his ass had Reno squawking and squirming. Fluid leaked down his cheek. So Rufus had gotten off. “Sadistic bastard,” he muttered.

“Hey,” Rufus smacked his ass again.

“Stop that!” he complained.

Rufus still hadn’t let go of his face. “You scared the shit out of me, Reno.”

“I think you mean I scared the cum outta ya.”

Rufus’s beautiful features were seriously unimpressed.

"No." The finality of the word made the grin slip from Reno's lips. "I came when you did, and when you weren't responsive I…" Rufus shook his head and sat back on his heels.

"You're serious," he realized. Reno wasn't exactly sure why the revelation was so startling. It wasn’t like Rufus was actually as cold as his reputation suggested. He definitely had callous and sadistic streaks, but he had feelings buried underneath that ice prince facade. Not so different from Reno, actually.

"I was just about ready to call medical," he admitted, still looking troubled.

That made Reno’s brows raise. He wiggled his way into a sitting position and, nervous but determined, reached for Rufus’s hand. Rufus gave him an odd look, but surprised Reno by twisting his palm to grasp Reno back.

"Sorry I scared you, Boss." He meant it. Anything that made Rufus look like this he didn't like. "I'm fine, really. You just gave me the best fucking orgasm of my life." He poked Rufus’s cheek and was quickly batted away. "Look happier about it, would you? I feel great. Though I probably can't walk and am going to be cussing you out in the morning for how sore I am."

That finally got Rufus to crack a smile, but his forehead was still furrowed in a way Reno did not approve of. It looked too much like work Rufus, not… not his Rufus.

Oh shit. When did he start thinking of Rufus as his?

"Reno, I think it's about time we talked about where this is going."

Reno startled, but was quick to try and mask it with defensiveness. "The fuck? We ain't goin' anywhere. You've got a girl, remember?"

Rufus was undeterred by Reno’s posturing, and gripped Reno's hand tighter. Reno looked down at the appendage as though it had betrayed him.

"We've been doing this for months. You know I'm not truly interested in Arianna." With completely unexpected tenderness, Rufus brushed a few wayward strands of Reno's hair off his cheek. "I like you. And the sex is phenomenal." Despite so recently getting off, the blond's gaze grew a little hungry. "What do you say to a long term arrangement? Eventually I will take over for my father and I will no longer have to heed his influence."

Reno sat in stunned silence, still holding Rufus Shinra's hand. He should really think such an offer over. His life was at risk if they were ever discovered by anyone outside of the Turks. But that hadn't stopped him so far.

And the sex was really fucking good.

So he gave the answer that would change the course of his life.

"Okay."


	2. Dancing Without Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big Thanks to [Nikasha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikasha/pseuds/Nikasha) for betaing this chapter! 
> 
> Chapter 2's title is named after Dancing Without Music by BRDGS
> 
> I forgot to mention in Chapter 1 that this whole fic is inspired by Modern Love Affair by Too Close To Touch
> 
> My entire Reno/Rufus playlist for this fic can be found here: [Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJOhOL7IdH-AcehJfPoAM04Qq8U35xCDL)

_Midgar Underplate Strip Club, September 13, 0001_

“Boss,” Reno musically gritted out through clenched teeth bared in a smile. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“The same thing everyone else is doing,” Rufus replied coolly, his eyes sliding over Reno’s body as he rolled his hips. The Turk shivered and pressed himself closer.

“Careful, VP, just because you’re wearing a hat and shades doesn’t mean you’re unrecognizable. What would Arianna think if she knew you were in a place like this? Plus,” he flipped himself around swaying his hips to the beat and spoke over his shoulder, just loud enough to be heard, “you never do anything to ‘unwind’ without a secondary motive.”

Rufus’s eyes twinkled in amusement. “Never, huh?”

Reno registered the sound before the pain. He yelped and hopped away from his boss, one hand pressed to his smarting ass.

The blond asshole actually laughed.

Clenching his fists, Reno took a slow inhale and exhale, then circled around Rufus’s chair to approach from behind, fingers trailing up and down his shoulders.

“Just lay low and don’t make it harder for me to do my job, okay?” he whispered in his ear before giving it a playful little nip. Reno didn’t miss his lover’s catch of breath, nor the way he wet his lips before he spoke again.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied far too politely. “Though, just to be clear, we are talking about your job as a stripper, correct?”

Reno dug his nails into Rufus’s chest and breathed, “Fuck you.” Then licked his ear and extricated himself from the man before he _actually_ ended up saying ‘to hell with it’ and fucking the infuriating bastard on the floor.

He swore he heard him chuckle on the way over to the bar.

“The VP is here,” he informed Rude, keeping his voice low as he leaned against the corner of the bar while Rude poured a few drinks.

“I noticed.” His partner gave him a meaningful look over his sunglasses. Reno ignored the sudden urge to rub his ass again. He sighed.

“I have no idea what he’s up to. And I don’t like having divided attention.”

“Already called Tseng.”

“I love you.”

He didn’t need to see his partner’s eyes to know he was rolling them.

“Any leads?”

Rude glanced over his shoulder at a woman impatiently tapping her nails against the bar.

“Door,” was all Reno got before he moved to attend the bitch before she started making a ruckus.

Reno picked up a shot and tossed it back. _“Fuck.”_ He grimaced. He was getting too used to Rufus’s fancy shit for typical bar swill and he hated it. He picked up the tray and headed for the club entrance.

It wasn’t the fact that Rufus was there, it was that Reno knew he was there because of _him_. Whatever claims he made, he knew his job made Rufus nervous. He’d been getting more involved, more _protective_ , lately and he wasn’t sure exactly why it got under his skin so.

No, scratch that. He knew why. He was a _Turk_ , dammit! And he wasn’t dead yet. He didn’t get to be Third in the chain of command by being stupid.

As Reno neared the door, he forced himself to quit grinding his teeth and don a smile. It almost seemed like he could feel Rufus’s gaze on him, but he knew that was bullshit. Bastard was probably getting a lap dance just to piss him off.

Reno spotted the man immediately. Tall, blond, pretty, and trying too hard to blend in. Even with Tseng’s debriefing, he wasn’t prepared for the resemblance. Outfitted with his most charming smile, he sidled up to the man, setting whatever the hell Rude had concocted on the table.

“Hey, handsome. What’s a catch like you doing here alone?”

Clear blue eyes filled with surprise flickered over to Reno, startling him with their familiarity. He almost spun back around to make sure Rufus was, in fact, still sitting by the stage, but he forced himself to stay focused, stay in character.

“Um, yes?” Reno relaxed. That definitely wasn’t Rufus’s voice. “I-I mean hi. Er, I’ve never been to a place like this before,” the man confessed. Reno could have laughed. This guy might have looked like Rufus, but he sure as hell didn’t act anything like him. Still, the resemblance was uncanny.

“No shit,” he said, flashing his teeth. “Want a dance? That’s why you’re here right? For some excitement?” he winked, straightening from where he’d been leaning against the table and slipping into the man’s lap. For just one moment, he looked repulsed, but then it transformed into something excitedly nervous. It niggled at Reno’s instincts, but he brushed it off for now. The guy probably wasn’t even attracted to men. Just trying to discredit Rufus for some reason.

Which was why he was here.

“Say, you look familiar.” He coyly traced one finger down the side of the man’s face. Not as soft as Rufus’s. Now that he was touching, he could even tell the man had some stubble coming in. Careless. “Do I know you?”

“I don’t think so,” the man said, smiling shyly. “I get told I look like Rufus Shinra a lot, though.”

Reno feigned surprised recognition. “That’s it! So should I call you Rufus?” he purred, starting a slow grind in his lap.

For a moment, Reno thought the guy was going to grab his hips, but he quickly relocated them to his sides. Smart.

“My name’s Lawrence.”

Interesting. They’d have to check that out later.

“So how are you liking your night so far, _Lawrence_?” Reno draped his arm over the back of his chair, boxing him in.

“Uh, good. It’s good.” Lawrence was staring down Reno’s fishnet shirt to his thin spandex shorts. They didn’t leave much to the imagination. It didn’t help that rubbing himself against this Rufus clone was kind of giving him a semi.

 _Bastard’d kill me if he saw_.

He was really hoping Rufus would stay in his lane. His presence put this whole fucking operation in jeopardy. What was he thinking?

Reno needed to get this guy out of here, away from the real Rufus.

“Good enough to take a break with me?”

“What?” Lawrence seemed genuinely shocked.

“You’re cute,” Reno explained, aiming for casual. “Don’t worry, I won’t charge you extra.” He winked again. “Just wanna show you a good time. Have a little fun.” He reached back for the drink he’d brought over and placed it against the man’s lips. “Loosen up, will ya?”

Lawrence took a sip, but quickly pushed the drink aside. “Okay.”

Well. That was a quick turn around.

“C’mon then.” He grabbed one of Lawrence’s hands and tugged him backwards, away from his seat and towards the emergency exit off to the side of the room, rather than out the front door. He didn’t look to see if either Rude or Rufus were watching. At least one of them would be. And if the latter was, he hoped he had the damned sense to stay right where he fucking was.

As they stepped out into the night air, Reno shivered. It wasn’t exactly cold yet, but after the heat of the club, even the late summer night air seemed chilly.

A ratcheting _click_ sounded from behind him and Reno froze for an entirely different reason.

“Turn around slowly.”

Reno obeyed, eyes wide. “Lawrence?” he questioned, voice tremulous.

The blond man scowled, all hints of his previous timidity vanished.

“Why don’t we stop playing games?” he said rather sourly.

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb,” he snapped, defensive. “You can take a Turk out of his uniform, but you can’t take the Turk out of the man. I know what you are. The bartender, too.”

Reno held his breath, but Lawrence went on without mentioning Rufus. “You came to tell me to ‘cease and desist,’ right? Or were you going to just outright kill me?”

“Hadn’t decided yet,” Reno told him honestly.

The Rufus look-alike snorted.

“Well I have,” he stated, leveling the barrel of a gun at him.

 _Shit_. He had underestimated this brat. Fallen for his act hook, line, and sinker. And now he was going to pay for it with his life. He didn’t close his eyes. Reno had always known he was going to die in the line of duty. Staring death in the face didn’t phase him. There were worse things than this.

Like getting left behind.

_Rufus._

A muted crack like a backfiring car from right over his shoulder made him duck instinctively. He rolled behind the glass recycle, shards slicing his shoulder and shirt in the process. By the time he peered out to take in the scene, a blond man was on the ground and another was standing over him.

“Rufus!” he cried, sprinting to his lover, anxiously running his hands over his torso, arms, and face, checking for injuries. It was only when Rufus clasped his hands that he realized he was shaking.

“I’m fine,” he reassured. “But you’re bleeding.”

“Reno?”

The redhead twisted his head to the side, seeing his partner step out into the alleyway. He surveyed the scene quickly. “He dead?” he asked Rufus.

“He shouldn’t be. I hit him in the shoulder. But I haven’t checked.”

Rude approached the body, checked his pulse. "He's breathing," he confirmed. But he was also bleeding out. Reno reached for his phone and twinged when it pulled at the cuts on his shoulder. Belatedly, he remembered he wouldn't find his PHS anyway. There was no room for it in these shorts.

A soft touch to his undamaged shoulder brought his attention back to Rufus. Slowly, the shock was wearing off and being replaced by a simmering rage.

"You need medical attention, Reno." The calm and soothing timbre of Rufus’s voice just fanned the flames.

"The fu—"

"Rufus!"

Both men twisted around, and it was only as Rufus reholstered his weapon that Reno realized that the VP had shot someone for him.

He was so pissed he could spit flame.

But as Tseng approached the scene, he bit his tongue. He looked _mega_ pissed.

"Vice President Shinra, I must insist you get in the car _right now_." Reno's eyes widened. He had never seen Tseng treat Rufus like this before.

Behind them, Rude cleared his throat. "Sir, I've injected the target with a concentrated potion, but he probably needs a surgeon if you want to interrogate him."

Tseng didn't take his hard gaze off of Rufus, who was staring back defiantly. "There’s a chopper en route. You and Reno take him to the Shinra medical suite. Reno, you get yourself seen to, as well. I'll be in contact after I've seen the vice president to safety."

As though it was his own idea, Rufus silently swept down the alleyway, not sparing any of them a glance. Tseng sighed, a minute bit of tension leaving his shoulders. "Keep him out until we can get him in a room," he instructed, then turned in pursuit of the president's son.

A growl was building in Reno’s throat.

"Hey," Rude’s voice cut through all the red he was seeing. His partner already had the fake Rufus on his back. "C'mon. We still have a job to do. You can chew him out later."

A startled laugh erupted from Reno's throat. Of course Rude knew exactly what he was thinking; not that he had tried overly hard to hide it.

"Yeah, whatever."

Personally? Reno would happily pop the dickbag in the head. But he was a consummate professional, and his superior said hospital, so hospital it was. He shivered.

* * *

_Rufus’s Midgar Penthouse, November 13, 0001_

The doors to Rufus’s penthouse were electronic sliders, but as Reno stormed in, Rufus had a brief vision of the Turk throwing them open with a bang. Taking a moment to school his surprise, Rufus paused in the middle of opening a bottle of wine.

“What the _hell_ were you thinking, Rufus?” Reno shouted, charging his lover like he was going to strangle him, then thinking better of it at the last minute and turning to pace instead.

Frowning, Rufus studied his Turk. Reno was back in his uniform, bandage wrapping visible from his open shirt. And he looked fit to haul back and punch him if he said the ‘wrong’ thing. “It was a risky operation. I wanted to keep an eye on it,” he replied smoothly.

Reno whirled once more, and this time he fisted his left hand in the lapel of Rufus’s jacket.

“Oh, so you thought to help us out by ensuring we were distracted by watching your ass, too?” he seethed.

Rufus, unphased, looked down on him with steely eyes that flashed dangerously. “As I recall, my ass was not the one that needed saving.”

Fingers tightened their grip for a moment before releasing Rufus entirely and Reno stormed away from him again. His aura reeked of violence and fury as he compulsively clenched and unclenched his fists. Finally, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He silently stomped to the balcony, threw open the door, stepped out, and slammed it shut.

Rufus let go of a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Unmoving, he observed his lover as he lit up a cigarette and dragged harshly from it, letting out a long exhale of smoke before sucking a deep lungful back in. 

He stood there and watched him chain smoke three of the damn things before he sighed and resignedly made to join him outside.

Beautiful teal eyes glared balefully at him through a haze of smoke. Even outdoors, it lingered in the stagnant summer air. Rufus kept his distance, not wanting to provoke an assault. His patience had always exceeded Reno’s. After five minutes of nothing but the sound of Reno dragging and exhaling, Reno broke the silence.

“I took him outside because he hadn’t noticed you and I didn’t know what he’d do if he did.” He turned to face Rufus. A storm cloud hovering over his lover’s head wouldn’t have been an unfitting image. “Shoot you right in the middle of the fucking club for all I knew.”

Rufus inclined his head, acknowledging and encouraging Reno to continue.

“You put the whole operation in danger, just because you can’t keep your damn nose out of my jobs!” Accusation was heavy in his voice, and it made Rufus’s frown deepen. While Reno had some points, he still felt justified in his choices.

“He had you made, Reno. Rude, too. If I wasn’t there tonight, you would be dead.”

The muscles in Reno’s jaw worked furiously and he dragged his cigarette down to the filter before he answered, throwing it down on the balcony and grinding it out with his heel instead of using the ashtray that Rufus explicitly had out here for Reno’s use.

“I had to get four stitches and a tetanus shot, you asshole!”

Well that explained a portion of his foul mood. Reno would rather take a bullet than a needle.

“You’d be getting both sooner rather than later anyway,” he pointed out, daring to wander closer. Reno’s look turned even more venomous before he twisted, giving him the cold shoulder; but Rufus knew it was because he was right. He wrapped an arm around his fiery lover, who viciously made to shrug it off, but then winced. Rufus bent to kiss the shoulder of his suit jacket. “Do you want some materia for the soreness?” he asked softly.

“Fuck you,” he muttered miserably. This time Rufus kissed his temple. The lack of immediate rejection was a good sign.

“I’m serious. Using materia only improves both it and the user. I don’t mind expelling a little energy for you. You were ready to die to keep me safe.” It was as Rufus spoke the words that the weight of Reno’s actions really settled on him. It was his job to die for him… Rufus knew that. But that’s not what this had been about. It wasn’t why his Turk was so furious. He took a gamble. “So you must know why I had to be there to do the same for you.”

Reno’s eyes snapped to his, searching his face. Rufus looked down on him with lidded eyes, watching as his lover’s expression morphed from fear, to irritation, to a helpless kind of desperation that prompted him to lean up and kiss Rufus hard on the mouth.

Falling into the dance without pause, Rufus twisted to wrap his arm around him more fully and kissed him back with just as much passion. He cupped Reno’s face, warm and alive beneath his palm, and moaned softly against his lips, kissing until he coaxed a whimper out of Reno, then slowly withdrew.

“Come inside, Reno. Have a drink with me. Let me make it up to you.”

Silence reigned for several long moments.

“Fine.”

The agreement was sullen, but he didn’t try to pull away as Rufus put a hand to the small of Reno’s back and ushered him back inside.

* * *

_Hospital, May 28, 0000_

Reno woke up in medical. 

It was nothing new. He'd been there countless times before. Sometimes in critical condition, like he had been an hour ago.

But unlike before…

"What're ya doing 'ere?"

...he hadn't been entangled with Rufus Shinra.

One perfectly groomed blond brow arched at him. Reno belatedly recognized not only his informality, but his disrespect. It was one thing to do it intentionally, entirely another to be so doped he forgot himself.

Still, he was tired, and hurting despite being given all the potions he was medically allowed to receive at one time and then painkillers on top of that. If Rufus wanted to be offended by the lack of title, he couldn't give a shit.

"I don't need a reason to check up on a wounded subordinate. Particularly one who became so protecting me."

"Nev’r stop’d by ‘fore," Reno grumbled, frowning at how petulant he sounded.

Something in Rufus's expression softened, and he reached out to gently brush some of the red strands sticking to clammy skin off of Reno's forehead.

"I only recently requested medical updates on Turks injured in the line of duty."

Reno hummed his acknowledgment, unsure of when his eyes had drifted shut or when Rufus had started petting his hair. Or when Rufus had even gotten there. "Ya know what they tell ya when ya sign up? Yer only way out is ina bodybag." He laughed as much as he was able to without making the ache in his ribs worse. "I told 'em that was the only way I was gettin' outta the slums anyway."

The fingers stroking his hair paused before resuming their cadence. Reno felt his thoughts slipping. A low murmur pulled him further down and he nuzzled into the comforting weight on his head as much as he could before he passed out.

* * *

_Rufus’s Midgar Penthouse, May 28, 0000_

“Rufus?” The sultry alto of Arianna’s voice filled his ears. Rufus sighed imperceptibly and set his whiskey down, extending a hand to his girlfriend instead. She clasped his hand and slid into his lap, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

“What’s wrong, babe?” She smoothed a hand down his face, warm brown eyes filled with concern. While he didn’t feel guilty, exactly, it was in moments like these that he thought he really should love this woman. And that she deserved better than him. Rufus picked up the hand he was holding and kissed it.

“It’s nothing,” he lied, easy as breathing. “Just stress from work.” That was at least in the realm of truth. Reno was related to work, after all, and he had been injured in the line of it. But he couldn’t very well say, _‘My paramour is in the hospital. He’s stable now, but he almost died. It’s given me a lot to think about.’_

He didn’t even want to tell her it was a Turk. She accepted their presence around him, but they had always made her uneasy, even knowing they were supposed to be there for their protection. Arianna wasn’t a simpleton. She heard the rumors about the Turks just like everyone else. And as someone who saw them up close and personal on a regular basis, she had more reason to believe that hearsay was true than she didn’t. She had told Rufus as much, once, and firmly stated she never wanted to discuss her suspicions in detail, or get closer to them than she had to.

Rufus was pretty sure she’d lose her mind if she knew he was fucking one.

“You want me to take your mind off it?” Arianna knew better than to ask if he wanted to talk about it. The answer was always ‘no.’ Honestly, for all he hated his father, he had found him a lovely match who, on paper, ticked off every one of the boxes he could hope to want in a partner. Alas, she was everything he theoretically wanted and yet as Arianna began to kiss up his neck, though he shivered and felt the first stirrings of arousal, the quintessential _spark_ he craved was missing. The thing that Reno never failed to alight in him every time he so much as brushed his fingertips over his shoulder.

_Reno._

Ifrit, he had looked _terrible_. Pale and bruised despite advanced materia healing. He knew it was really only good for superficial wounds. But surely it should have touched the bruising more than that? He’d been so drugged that he hadn’t even noticed the IV’s. Regular Reno would have been bitching and pawing at them. Rufus would have had to threaten to handcuff his wrists to the bed to get him to stop.

“That’s better.”

Arianna’s breathy voice pulled him from his thoughts. He was confused for a moment before he pieced it together that he had been smiling thinking of his other lover. He went along with it, surging forward to kiss Arianna. She smelled sweet. Like brown sugar, or maybe vanilla. Something too cloying. Not like clove smoke and ozone.

That was another thing Rufus hated about seeing Reno in the hospital. Everything smelled of antiseptic and other harsh chemicals, almost as bad as the labs. There wasn’t even a hint of cigarettes in the air, and Reno in a room without the scent of fresh smoke was just wrong.

“Hey.” Rufus opened his eyes to Arianna, his chin gripped tightly between her dark fingers. “You’re in your head again,” she chastised. “Come on. Let’s go to the bed.”

Quickly Rufus tossed back the rest of his whiskey and then swooped Arianna’s lithe form up in his arms, smiling as she shrieked and laughed, swatting him on the shoulder. He smiled at her. She pretended to be cross, but her eyes were glittering and her lips were only barely containing her glee. Rufus knew she meant it when she said she loved him, instead of the platitudes he offered her. Someone so lovely really did deserve someone who would love her properly. But breaking up with her right now wasn’t an option. If it wasn’t her, it would be someone else. And Rufus did like her, despite his lack of romantic feelings towards her. He would even dare to call her his best friend. A stimulating intellectual discussion partner. A sensible sounding board. A kind and supportive hand despite his cold detachment. She merely took him in stride for what he was, with all the kindness he lacked.

Depositing her on the bed, he grabbed the zipper positioned in the middle of her back and wasted no time dragging it down. He had to admit, that was one thing he missed out on with Reno. There was something very satisfying about unzipping a tight dress. Arianna wasted no time shimmying out of the fabric. It had been a while since they’d had sex, and he knew she’d be aching for it. Another area in which they were matched. Arianna had a very active sex drive and was shameless about pursuing pleasure. As good as sinking into her felt, though, everything was just too… soft. Her walls didn’t grip as hard, her ample form had too much cushion. Everywhere he could touch on her was soft, unmarred skin. Not a single callus to be found.

Not like Reno, who even now was certainly forming new scars. An assassination attempt had gone bad. He’d been shot twice and then beaten while unconscious until Rude and Shotgun were able to pick off the hacked security drones that had caught them by surprise. He had lost too much blood, cracked several ribs, and had a small seizure on the way to the hospital.

Once more, Rufus had to force himself to focus on the present. Arianna had already stripped herself bare, every inch of her smooth chocolate skin on display for him. He hurried to follow suit, climbing on top of her and kissing her fiercely while he reached down and slipped two fingers inside, playfully rubbing and tapping at her g-spot to get her excited, grinding the heel of his hand occasionally against her clitoris, playing her body with the skill that almost two years together had given him. She moaned and mewled, rather quickly reaching down to grab his arm.

“Stop. Give me _you_ ,” she groaned. Rufus reached over to grab a condom, ripping it open and rolling it on with practiced ease before lining up and pressing in deep in one inexorable movement and had her gasping soprano for a moment before it melted into a throaty groan. “Yes, babe,” she purred. “Fuck me up.” Rufus did as requested, but it wasn’t Arianna’s voice he was hearing. Wasn’t her beautiful dark eyes or full lips that he saw. It was mischievous teal eyes and a mouth that spoke low class filth. Vibrant red hair and a personality to match.

His mouth fell open as he came, a sick realization quick to settle in his gut in the aftermath.

Reno wasn’t just a fling.

Rufus had almost lost him today, and _even in the middle of fucking his girlfriend,_ he was all he could think about.

Fuck.

* * *

_Rufus’s Midgar Penthouse, November 13, 0001_

"Just a little bit longer."

Reno scoffed, placed one hand on Rufus's damp chest, and shoved him off so he could see himself out of the bed. A large warm hand captured his right wrist before he had made it more than a step. He made a noise of protest. Even after the materia, his arm was still a little sore from the booster.

"Reno."

If he didn't know better, Reno might have dared to call the VP's voice _pleading_. He huffed again, but allowed himself to remain caught, despite the ease with which he could have broken the hold.

What poetic mimicry of the melodrama his life had become.

He could feel lube creeping down his thighs.

"I have a plan. It has…admittedly taken longer than intended. Recent events haven't helped." Reno could hear the sour twist in Rufus's voice. "But I have every intention of turning them to my advantage." Reno felt a gentle tug on his wrist and he reluctantly let himself be led into looking at the debauched bastard on the bed. A flip in his chest quickly became a zing that raced down his spine and bloomed into a rekindled desire in his groin. Rufus had the audacity to notice and smirk. "Trust me?"

Reno snatched his arm back, uncaring of the burning pain it caused when Rufus suddenly increased the strength of his grip. He rubbed his wrist and glared.

“It would be a whole hell of a lot easier to trust you if you’d ever tell me what you were thinking,” he snapped.

It wasn’t that he wanted to be pissy. They had just made up, after all. And the sex was amazing. But his shoulder, arm, and now ass ached and there was a growing void of anxiety in his gut that he couldn’t seem to shake no matter how Rufus sweet talked him. In fact, it was just making it worse.

Rufus sat up in bed.

“Then I’ll tell you.”

Reno stared. No way it was that easy.

Rufus scooted back, lifting up the covers for him.

“ _Reno_.” Wary though he was, Rufus never took that plaintive tone with anyone.

Feeling _incredibly_ pussy whipped, Reno crawled back into bed, grabbing the towel from under Rufus to wipe off most of the excess fluid around his ass and legs before tossing it on the floor and collapsing with a soft _whump_ of the mattress. Rufus had the impudence to laugh, but Reno still grumpily accepted the kiss on the forehead.

Reno settled himself into the mattress and Rufus drew patterns on his chest. He didn’t waste any time.

“I want to use the unrest the citizens here have with the Wutaian war to my advantage. You’ve heard of that radical environmentalist group that has cropped up?”

There was something vaguely niggling at his memory from one of Veld’s recent debriefings. He couldn’t see where the hell Rufus was going with this, though.

“Yeah?”

“I plan on funding their efforts to deplete my father’s assets and focus his attention where I want it. And then…” Rufus’s fingers stopped their movement, then traveled to gently trace a line along Reno’s thoat. “I’ll use them to get my father out of our way.”

Reno’s heart felt like it fucking flipped over. _Our._

“Yeah?” he asked again, a little breathless this time. He licked his lips. “How long?”

“A couple of months, if I play my cards right.” Was it just him or did Rufus sound excited about it, too? He worried his lower lip. When Rufus said anything, it always sounded believable, but the skeptic in him still couldn’t quite believe it till he saw it. Talk was cheap, after all.

“I was thinking…” Rufus said slowly, voice coyly lulling, “of taking a personal vacation to Costa del Sol. A retreat, if you will. No girlfriend. But I would need security, obviously.” A smile started to creep over Reno’s face as Rufus spoke, and he couldn’t resist butting in.

“Veld has to run things here, and as Second, Tseng will be needed here, too, but the Third would be appropriately high profile and expendable, is that it?”

Rolling over to rest a little more of his weight on Reno, Rufus kissed him deeply. “I like how you think, Turk,” he rumbled, dipping down for another, longer kiss.

Reno sighed against his lips, eyes hazy once more with desire. “I’d like that.”

“Then you’ll have it,” Rufus murmured.

* * *

_Shinra Corp, September 24, 1998_

Reno collapsed against the wall of the alley, panting hard. He'd been in an all out sprint for twelve blocks, weaving and dodging elemental materia attacks the whole way. That was all they had left now. He'd coaxed them into using all their ammo early on. He had one bullet.

He tilted his head back against the cement and grinned, even as his lungs and muscles burned.

One bullet in the chamber was all he needed.

But first he needed to stake out a good location to make his final stand.

The alley he currently occupied wasn't bad. There was a closed dumpster, a couple of ladders that were within reach overhead, and the buildings were close enough together that assailants would be forced into a bottleneck. Only room for two, if they were of average build and stood shoulder to shoulder. Which meant he could also leap between buildings via rooftop to escape if he needed to.

No. Not a bad place at all.

He'd gotten himself out of worse.

He tucked the gun in the back of his pants and made a jump for one of the ladders, pulling himself up with a soft grunt of effort. He climbed about halfway up—to the point where he could still jump down without hurting himself—and kept scanning the entryways, waiting.

It wasn’t long. Shadows flitted by on either end.

_Three._

But one of his remaining assailants was a cut above the rest. That was the one he had to watch out for.

The SOLDIERS moved in from either end cautiously, eyes warily scanning the debris. But neither looked up.

Reno grinned.

When they flanked the dumpster, obviously thinking he’d be dumb enough to hide in one, he braced his feet on the wall and palmed the materia he’d nicked from one of their comrades early on. He’d never used one before—wasn’t even a hundred percent sure what kind it was—but no risk, no reward, right?

He rubbed his thumb over the smooth orb, trying to imagine the energy consuming the one farthest from him, and launched himself at the other.

He _felt_ the spell take halfway to his target. Fear froze him for one horrifying second as energy suddenly drained from him and lightning arced from his fist to the man he’d imagined targeting. He absorbed the impact with his hands and immediately pushed himself away, backflipping down the alley. When he landed he was stunned to find both men utterly incapacitated. The dumpster had acted as a conduit. If he hadn’t changed his trajectory, he would be a part of that pile of fried limbs.

The hair on the back of his neck rose; he dropped just as the sound of a gun registered. Behind him, other end of the alley. He rolled himself behind the dumpster, retrieving his pistol in the process.

One bullet.

He took a moment to breathe. He was probably only going to get one chance at this.

For several moments the only sound was his panting breaths and the low hum of an air conditioner in one of the windows above. Then he heard it. The soft grating of rubber on concrete. Combat boots gingerly stepping closer. But not close enough. Reno weighed the gun in his hand, thinking, and reached for the materia again with his other hand.

The sounds of footsteps drew closer. Still not close enough.

The air conditioner continued to drone. He stared at it absently.

Fuck, he hated waiting.

_Wait._

_The air conditioner._

Reno grinned.

Biting his lip in concentration, he threw caution to the wind and focused all of his attention on the materia and air conditioner. If this worked, he wouldn’t have time to waste. Once again, Reno felt the moment it worked, a rush of energy leaving him and jumping to the unit up above.

It _exploded_.

But Reno wasn’t watching; he was rolling out, springing out of his crouch, and tackling the dark haired man before him to the ground. In seconds he had him pinned, gun butted up just under his jaw.

“Checkmate, motherfucker!” he crowed.

The world around him dissolved into digital dust, leaving the mirror image of the man he'd held pinned at gunpoint moments before standing in front of him clapping pointedly. “Well done,” he said as he clasped both hands behind his back. “You have successfully dealt with all 13 operatives and 16 SOLDIERS included in this test.”

“Sure did.” Reno grinned as he straightened. “So do I getta be a Turk, or what?”

A small smile bloomed on the man’s face. “It means you qualify to be _trained_ as a Turk.”

Reno scoffed. “Sure. But that means I’m as good as in, right? As long as I get through it?”

“As long as you get through it,” he confirmed, tone somewhat cryptic. “Before you accept admission into the academy, I have to warn you. If you become a Turk, the only way you’ll leave is in a body bag. Do you still wish to join us?”

There was no need for Reno to think on that one. He had already decided.

“Hell yeah. Gonna leave the slums in one, anyway. Might as well get paid until then.”

The man smiled. “Then welcome, and allow me to introduce myself. I’m Veld, the Director of the General Affairs Department of the Shinra Corporation. Otherwise known as the Turks.”

* * *

_Costa Del Sol Resort, July 10, 0002_

One perfect blond eyebrow arched at his lover. “‘Checkmate, motherfucker’?” There was a laugh barely concealed in the words.

“Hey!” Reno whacked his arm with his magazine, giggles of his own barely contained. “I was excited!”

Rufus looked at Reno, gaze a little hazy and blood singing with a couple of strong cocktails ordered from the resort’s kitchen. “You’re cute.”

Reno scoffed. “You’re drunk,” he shot back. “Only a sociopath would find that story cute,” he accused, poking a finger into Rufus bicep and then copping a feel. The man seemed fascinated with his arm muscles. He flexed a little, smirking when Reno glanced up, a pretty blush staining his cheeks.

“What’s with you and my arms, hm?”

Eyes darting away, Reno abruptly crossed his own arms before mumbling, “I never see you outta long sleeves.”

A bold laugh burst from Rufus’s chest. “Is that your way of telling me I’m not meeting your sexual needs?”

“No!” Reno squawked, whacking his arm again. “Fuck you, it’s just different, okay?”

“If you say so,” he snickered, gaze softening once more.

This week in Costa had been like a dream. Everything he wanted for his future. Reno by his side, no worries of his father or girlfriend stopping by for a visit.

Freedom.

“What?” Reno was looking at him suspiciously.

“Nothing. Just enjoying the view,” he cooed provocatively. Reno rolled his eyes, but his smile said he was pleased.

“There are better views than this.”

“Oh yeah?” Rufus challenged, intrigued. 

“Yeah.” The look in Reno’s eyes grew distant, the corners of his mouth turned down a little.

“Like what?” Rufus asked softly, keenly aware of the shift in tone.

“Like you, in the President’s chair.” Turquoise eyes slid to his, keen once more. “Sittin’ like a king in front of the department assholes. Finally in control of what you want.” There was a hint of longing in Reno’s voice that Rufus couldn’t miss. Stretching, he reached for Reno’s hand, latching onto it when it was offered, stroking the rough skin of his knuckles.

“I want that, too,” he said, soft, genuine. Unusually vulnerable. He swallowed thickly. “Just a little bit longer, Reno.” He gripped his hand tighter. “I mean it. My plan is in motion. I _will_ replace my father. And then,” he bent to kiss his knuckles, broken and healed so many times over, “we will be together.” He just stopped himself short of saying _‘it’s all I want.’_ For even though it was true, he would only show so much weakness, even to his beloved. “Just a little bit longer.”

If only that would have been true.


	3. What Is It About The Night?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here there be angst.
> 
> All my gratitude to the wonderful [Nikasha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikasha/pseuds/Nikasha) for betaing this chapter! 
> 
> Chapter 3's title is named after What Is It About The Night by Colton Avery
> 
> My entire Reno/Rufus playlist for this fic can be found here: [Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJOhOL7IdH-AcehJfPoAM04Qq8U35xCDL)

_Somewhere between Corel and Midgar, May 18, 0003_

They’d been in the helicopter a solid thirty minutes now, and no one had said one damn word.

“Really?” Reno finally shouted over the whirl of the blades. Everyone around him flinched. “Is no one gonna talk about this shit?”

Rude glared at him from the co-pilot’s seat. “Reno, don’t yell.”

Fuck, he’d forgotten about the headsets again. Whatever, this situation merited yelling. He went right on without acknowledging his partner.

“Veld’s got a daughter who not only ain’t dead, but is leading the anti-Shinra group we’ve been fighting for months, and he just up and abandons us?” Reno couldn’t even begin to put his full outrage into his voice. His accent was already out in full force, as it tended to be when he was emotional about something. “He was the one who fuckin’ told me the only way out was in a fuckin’ body bag, and he just walks off to join our enemy?” He twisted to face Rufus again, as he had been the majority of this flight, locked in a silent staring contest. “An’ _you_. You were just gonna…” Reno’s sense of bone-deep betrayal surged over his head and left him speechless for a minute. Rufus looked back at him, as placid as he had been throughout this whole exchange. “... let ‘em shoot us? To save yer own dumb ass?”

For the first time since Rufus had entered the helicopter, he moved, shaking his head.

“I would never—”

“Don’t you fuckin’ start! I know what I heard!”

“Reno.” Much to his surprise, it was Tseng who cut in. “Let him finish.”

“I’m sure it was Tseng’s intention to debrief you once you were back at headquarters,” his gaze flicked briefly to Shotgun, who was sitting there, wide-eyed at it all, “but allow me to begin. The situation that just played out wasn’t entirely unexpected. In fact, intel that I uncovered some time ago made Tseng quite suspicious of Elfe and her true identity in relation to Veld. While I did provide AVALANCHE with the means to blow up a reactor, little by little they’ve stopped following my directives. I tried to intervene personally, but as you can see, I was unsuccessful.” Rufus looked at Reno then, and there was regret in those silvery blue eyes, just for a moment. “My request to take the Turks out was something I contrived with Tseng, as a test of cooperation. I already knew that they were done with me. I wouldn’t have told them to turn on you if I thought for a moment that they would follow that order without question. Believe me.”

That… was possibly the closest Reno had heard Rufus get to begging. Even after edging the shit out of him. Even when he said, _‘Just a little bit longer.’_

Reno sighed, knowing he was going to forgive him before he’d even opened his mouth. Still, he had to be sure. “Chief?” Damn, it was weird addressing Tseng that way. Even though he’d always known it was gonna happen one day, and it suited Tseng, it was gonna take some getting used to.

“He’s telling the truth,” Tseng confirmed. Reno nodded. That was good enough for him. He read an apology in crystalline blue eyes and answered it in teal. Words could wait for later. Or maybe they’d fuck the words and screw.

There was a weird sort of heaviness in Reno’s chest over all of it. Rufus’s plan had failed. That meant it definitely wasn’t going to be ‘just a little bit longer.’ It would be until the Pres had thought Rufus had learned his lesson. At least he had been ordered to HQ and not shipped off somewhere. All things considered, this was probably the best arrangement they could hope for. Arianna hated the Turks so… _Shit_. Arianna. Reno wondered how the fuck Rufus was gonna explain this one. Then again, it didn’t really concern him, did it?

* * *

_Turks Headquarters, May 30, 0003_

Arianna had come to visit.

As soon as Tseng had let her into Rufus’s elaborate excuse for a prison, Reno knew what it meant. He wondered what he had told her. None of the Turks had let slip that he was being held prisoner, and Rufus certainly didn’t act like one, but surely she couldn’t think he had decided to move to the basement on a whim? Maybe he told her it was work related. She’d probably buy it. Reno had good intel that Arianna and Rufus never spoke of his job; not in any substantive way.

Rufus was probably fucking her right now. Hell, three months without and he’d want some action, too. Reno had fucked around plenty in the past when he needed it. But ever since…

He didn’t want to think about it.

The point was, he had needs, too, dammit! And with Rufus under 24/7 Turk surveillance, he was getting plenty of action. They didn’t have to sneak around like before. Not when Zone 7 had a chronic _malfunction_ that the Turks didn’t have the time or budget to fix.

Reno tapped his foot against his coffee table, agitated.

How had everything gone so horribly wrong? One month they were in Coasta del Sol, dreaming about the future, the next Rufus was indicted with his father’s attempted murder and locked up right under his nose. Okay. That was an exaggeration. It had almost been a year since that first trip. Still. They were a hair’s width away from everything and now…

Now Rufus was fucking Arianna.

Reno could imagine it… _Rufus’s hands fisting in white sheets as he thrust sharply into her, only letting out soft grunts as she wrapped her legs around him and moaned._

“Oh,” Reno said aloud, more than a little surprised by the tingle that sent through him. He was a kinky fucker, but the thought of Rufus and Arianna going at it…

 _Rufus spreading her thighs, carefully shoving in. A cry of pleasure from her and a deep groan from him_ …

The tingle ran all the way down to his toes this time. Reno bit his lip and rubbed the heel of his hand along the outline of his cock.

Was he really going to do this?

 _Rufus, mouth agape with pleasure, dampened strands of platinum blond falling limp as the gel that held them weakened. Calloused hands grasping at full breasts, thumbing pert nipples and making Arianna squirm with sensation._ Yeah. Yeah, he was. He just wasn’t going to think about it. Deft fingers flicked the button of his pants open, unzipped, and reached in. Rote action took hold. It never took a lot to rev his engine in the first place, and any stimulus pertaining to Rufus was a tried-and-true method to bring him off in a hurry.

_Pale lips wrapping around dark skin, tip of the tongue teasing so good…_

“Oh, fuck yes,” Reno groaned around clenched teeth. He slipped a hand just under his shirt and pinched at his own nipples, imagining...

_Those perfect white teeth scraping gently, nibbling a little harder, right on the perfect line of pleasure and pain. And Rufus’s hips, pumping like a machine, bringing ecstasy with every thrust, Arianna getting wetter by the second._

He bit his lips and moved his hand faster.

_Blond hair, strands now clinging together with sweat feathered over his forehead as he bowed his head, voice becoming less and less controlled as he fucked more vigorously just before the peak._

Using his right fist to smother a groan, Reno increased the pressure, stroking the underside just _so_ …

_She was crying out on every roll of hips, using every trick to drag Rufus closer, keep him in. He reached down to rub her as he reached the crest, the convulsions dragging him over the edge and into oblivion—_

“Ah!” he yelled as orgasm overcame him, thick pulses of come over his belly that didn’t last long enough.

Reno threw the forearm of his clean hand across his eyes and began to laugh. Slowly, the chuckles died out, and with them, the full weight of what he’d just done settled.

“Shit.”

* * *

_Turks Headquarters, June 24, 0003_

“What’s up, Boss?” It had been a while since Rufus had summoned him, and the few times Reno had been around him recently, he’d been edgy and distracted. Reno knew what it meant: Rufus was hiding something and it was stressing him out. But they’d been in this place before, and between getting Rufus or the planet to talk, he had better luck with the planet. Rufus would tell him when he was ready.

Which was now, apparently.

Rufus sat, as poised and commanding as he always was behind his desk. The closer he got, the more Reno’s nerves sang of something wrong. In that moment, Reno slipped from Turk to lover.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He made to move around the desk, but stalled at a raised hand from Rufus.

“I have something to tell you, Reno.” Rufus’s demeanor had not softened at all. It was the icy persona he used for everyone else.

“Okay, you’re scaring me, Rufus. What the fuck is going on?”

A thousand disaster scenarios played out in his head, but Reno never would have considered what Rufus actually said.

“She’s pregnant.”

A stone dropped in his gut and ice flooded his veins. He couldn’t move. The only thing he seemed capable of was staring at Rufus, who drooped lifelessly over his desk, head in one hand, glass of whiskey in the other.

“What did you say.”

It wasn’t a question, and Rufus didn’t give him an answer.

Silence abounded.

Reno knew, he _knew,_ Rufus was fucking her; but somehow, having the truth of that shoved in his face… 

The tension grew, pressure building until something _snapped_.

“Fuck you!” he yelled. Rufus’s head snapped up, and Reno tried to ignore the pang of guilt that came with the look in those eyes. Reno paced, legs suddenly unable to keep still. “Fuck you!” he yelled again, because he was hurting and those words were the only weapon he could actually throw at the bastard.

“Reno,” he sighed.

“No.” He stopped his pacing, turning on a dime and charging up to the front of Rufus’s desk. For a moment he recognized he had probably never said the word to Rufus in any kind of seriousness before. Few did, anymore. “No,” he repeated, hissing, “not this time. I don’t want your excuses.”

“We have to discuss—”

“We don’t hav’ta talk about a damn thing!” He didn’t care that he’d cut his boss off. Didn’t care that he was being too loud and that, despite the late hour, someone might hear him. Didn’t care that he was overreacting in a very uncharacteristic manner. He was a wounded animal, lashing out at the source of his pain. A lonely street urchin, just wanting someone to— “I’m done with this shit!”

He swiveled just as quickly to charge from the office. He barely heard the, “What” or the chair being pushed back, or the footsteps. Not with the way the blood was rushing in his ears. He didn’t see him at all until he was blocking his way to his exit, and then his lips pulled back from his teeth with a snarled, “Move!”

“Reno, we have to talk about this!” Shock arrested Reno’s body once more. Rufus shouted commands, but he didn’t just… yell. Nothing phased him enough to make him lose composure. If it weren’t for the sex, Reno might still think of him as a living statue—cold and unshakable.

But the man before Reno wasn’t only shaken, he was shak _ing_. The tremor in his hands was minute—barely noticeable—but there no matter how tightly the bastard clenched his fists.

Reno tried to hold on to the anger, to the minor protections it afforded him, but the fury drained from him as quickly as it stirred to life, leaving a void that threatened to swallow him whole.

“What are you going to do?” he rasped. He needed a drink. His throat was going to be sore tomorrow. For once, it wouldn’t be a pleasant reminder.

“I…” Something distraught crossed Rufus’s face, but Reno refused to give the emotion a name. Words like that and ‘Rufus’ had no place together. “I asked her to marry me.”

And neither did he.

A scoff slowly grew into a chuckle, which grew into a laugh, until he was doubled over, nearly shrieking with it. His eyes felt hot and wet, but he choked it back, laughed harder until his sides hurt nearly as much as his heart. Then he stood there, heaving.

Rufus had moved closer, one hand partially outstretched. He ignored it as he brushed past, but Rufus persisted, halting Reno in his tracks.

“You know as well as I do that I have no other choice.”

Reno let out another bark of humorless laughter and whirled on his lover.

“You always have choices, Rufus. And, guess what? So do I. You think I’m gonna fuck around with you while your baby cries in the background? I’ve heard enough of that shit for a lifetime in the slums.”

“We can still—” 

“No.” The word was so unexpectedly resolute that Rufus just stared at him, eyes saying more than Reno wanted to hear. “It’s been fun, Boss,” he offered in a softer tone. He hesitated, then rested one hand on Rufus’s shoulder. As soon as he touched him, his fingers clenched, like maybe if he gripped hard enough he would feel him through all those layers. “I’ll always be a Turk. I’ll watch out for you. And… your family. But we’re done.”

 _“Reno_.”

A knot lodged itself in Reno’s throat. He couldn’t have spoken past it if he’d wanted to.

He shook his head and forced himself to let go of the VP’s shoulder, plastered a smile to his lips and strolled out the door. Rufus didn’t stop him this time. He kept up the act all the way to the elevators. As soon as the doors closed, he slumped against the wall and closed his eyes.

_“Fuck.”_

* * *

_Turks Headquarters, June 25, 0003_

What a _disaster_.

Rufus continued to watch the newscaster with disgust. Even after that miserable failure of a spaceship, his father was going to keep sinking money into the program while children starved in the slums.

Unbelievable.

He pulled out the unregistered phone he kept just for Reno before he realized what he was doing and froze, staring at it.

He'd slipped it in his pocket that morning without even thinking.

Rufus adjusted it in his hand, and the flash of his own devastated expression shocked him into action. He quickly composed himself and put the device back where he'd gotten it, ignoring the burning feeling it left as its weight settled against his chest.

He pulled out his other phone instead, opening his thread with Tseng.

**Tseng, I need to meet with you ASAP. Stop by when you are available.**

Rufus was still reading the message over when Tseng’s reply came in.

**I will stop by shortly.**

Now there was nothing to do but wait. That’s all he ever seemed to do in this place. Wake up, eat, do some work, and wait. 

Sighing, he dropped his head into his hand. He had really fucked everything up. Rufus had known his goals were risky and lofty, but never had he imagined this. If he was being honest with himself, he had never imagined failure at all. There were always things that went wrong, but Rufus always seemed to get what he wanted, in the end.

Not this time.

He was going to marry Arianna. If he behaved himself, his father would let him out of Turk custody for a private wedding just before the baby arrived. Rufus had lied to Arianna and told her he was doing a year long apprenticeship with the Turks. Given her distaste for them, he had thought that would be enough to keep her away. Deep down, he had even been hoping that she’d leave him. Instead, she had come down and he had impregnated her, and now he was obligated to host her in this pseudo-prison while pretending he was just too busy to go out for a night.

Rufus knew it was all bullshit.

Arianna was smart. She _had_ to know. But she never called him on it.

 _Maybe my father is paying her off_.

Rufus snorted, the sound too loud in the empty room. That could very well be it. It would explain why she always seemed to stand by him, no matter what he did.

No. Rufus knew that wasn’t true. Money made people do stupid shit, but there was only one thing that made people act _that_ crazily. And it was something he had known for ages and ignored.

Arianna loved him. Plain and simple. Maybe he was the fool here. Rufus had always insisted on condoms along with her birth control, but that night she had ambushed him, and, having just started his penance, he didn’t have supplies on hand. _Just once_ , he had allowed it, and they had gotten pregnant.

Rufus should probably be angry. He should feel _something_. But it was like someone had scooped out his innards with a dull spoon. All that remained inside of him was a dull ache.

There was a knock on the door, followed by a beep as the security door withdrew.

Rufus stood. There was only one man who still bothered to knock before he entered.

“Tseng,” Rufus greeted, taking in the man’s appearance. He looked… haggard. Immediately Rufus’s brow creased. “Has something happened?”

Tseng looked at him as if to say, ‘ _Really?’_ and pointedly avoided the question, which was answer enough.

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

The dull ache in his chest grew. “I want you to take Reno off of my detail, starting immediately.”

Tired as Tseng clearly was, he didn’t immediately school his expression, and a note of shock slipped through before his face became exhaustedly impassive once more.

“Sir… I don’t think that’s wise,” Tseng intoned.

“You have plenty of other Turks, Tseng. I highly doubt he wishes to see me anymore, anyway. This is not solely for my benefit.” Ah, there was something. Some shadow of feeling. Pain. Despite everything, he wanted the best for Reno. And right now, that was space from him. But it _hurt_.

“Rufus,” Tseng tried again. “This isn’t going to fix—”

“I don’t want to hear it, Tseng!” Rufus drew a sharp breath, calming himself and lowering his voice once more. “He ended things with me. I’m marrying Arianna. I’m going to be a father. Separation is best for both of us.”

If possible, Tseng looked even more weighed down than when he entered Rufus’s cell. “I will rearrange things as much as I am able,” he conceded. “But if we are short staffed or Veld and I believe it’s best for your safety, I’m assigning him to you whether or not either of you like it.”

The look in Tseng’s eyes was cold steel. With no other bargaining chips left to play at the time, he was forced to nod.

“Very well.”

Tseng shifted, eyed him over. “It’s not like you to run away from your problems.”

Rufus bristled. “I’m doing what’s best for my _family_.” The word was hissed with no small amount of grief.

Deep brown eyes studied him for a long time. When he spoke, Rufus had to strain to hear him.

“I just hope it will be best for you, too.”

Rufus was so stunned he just kept staring at the door, long after it clicked closed.

* * *

_Turks Headquarters, June 26, 0003_

“The fuck?!” Reno shouted. It was only after it was out of his mouth that he tried to contain his outrage and hurt. “He can’t just do that!” But Reno knew he could. The Vice President could order anything he damn well wanted of the Turks, and Tseng would respect his wishes.

Beleaguered, Tseng sighed. “I tried speaking to him about it, Reno. His request stands. Of course, if it compromises his safety, he’ll have to deal with it regardless of his feelings, but for now I’ve taken you off of the Vice President’s guard rotation.”

Despair abruptly overshadowed his ire. “This is bullshit,” he muttered, lightly kicking at the corner of Tseng’s desk. Rufus didn’t even want to fucking _see_ him anymore? Sure their relationship hadn’t ended on great terms, but he was still a part of his life, dammit! To just be… dismissed like this… His anger flared again.

“Fine, if that’s what the boss wants, I’ll be fucking invisible.”

“Reno—”

“With all due respect, Chief, I need some space.”

Tseng’s lips pressed together in a tight seam. He nodded once. Reno returned the gesture and exited the office, shoulders bowed.

* * *

_Rude’s Apartment, July 17, 0003_

"Hey Rude, wanna fuck around?"

Rude gaped at him for a solid few seconds before he appeared to process what his partner had said.

"Reno. What?"

Attempting to blow his bangs off his forehead and only succeeding in creating more disarray, Reno sunk deeper into the couch. "Forget it."

To anyone else, Rude would have looked as impassive as ever. To Reno, even out of his peripheral vision, he appeared more alarmed than before.

"You're serious?"

Reno took a long draught of his beer before flicking his eyes to his partner, a nasty grin slinking over his face. "When do I ever joke about getting off?"

There was a beat before Rude blandly responded, "All the time."

A dark chuckle slipped past Reno's lips as he sat up and rested his elbows on his knees. "Okay. I'll give you that one." He drank again, throat bobbing until the bottle was drained dry. He set it down on the table with a _thunk._

Between one breath and the next, Reno blurred into motion, twisting and closing the few feet of space between him and Rude with lightning fast fluidity until he was straddling the man's lap. His partner gaped in surprise. Not allowing him time to recover, he planted his lips on Rude’s, deftly plucking the sunglasses from the bridge of his nose in the process.

For a few moments, Rude was bewildered and unresponsive beneath him, but as his left hand began flicking the buttons of the other man’s shirt open and running his cool fingers down warm skin, Rude hesitantly began to kiss back.

Smiling against his lips, Reno began to slowly grind himself down in Rude’s lap. Despite his initial protests, he was hardening up nicely. He reached between his legs to run his finger over it, earning him the softest of grunts that just turned his smile into a grin. 

He nipped at Rude’s lips and started popping buttons.

“Reno—” Rude’s attempt to speak was cut off by a bruising press of lips.

“Shut up, partner,” he advised, switching from his shirt to his pants so Reno could get his hand on Rude’s cock faster. As soon as he did, the only thing that came from Rude’s full lips was a moan. “That’s it,” Reno sighed, tension draining out of him as his fear of being rejected diminished. Feeling how thick and hot Rude was in his hand, Reno really wanted to wrap his lips around him, but didn’t trust Rude not to try and talk him out of it if he abandoned his station by his mouth for too long.

Taking advantage of Rude’s bared chest, Reno did something he’d always dreamed of doing and ran one calloused palm over the myriad of scars littering the man’s skin like gruesome constellations. Rude was a big guy, and preferred to fight hand to hand to an even greater extent than Reno. Reno himself liked to get in and get out, and had a number of distanced attacks up his sleeves. And while Rude did, too, he was up close and personal more often than not, and had the marks to prove it. Reno mapped each one with a curious touch, exploration slowly turning into a gentle massage as he continued to stroke Rude gently.

“I’ve thought about this, y’know,” he admitted, letting go briefly and making quick work of his own pants, drawing himself out and pressing against Rude with a moan. He wrapped them together in his hand, pumping in a steady rhythm.

Tilting his head back, Reno freely moaned. It felt good, and Rude’s brown eyes were hazy with arousal. He threw his partner a cocky grin before leaning back in to kiss him. The stubble scratching at his checks wasn’t his favorite thing, but he didn’t mind too much. Rude was finally getting lost in the sensations, tongue coming out to play, quiet grunts and groans swallowed by Reno’s hungry mouth.

Pulling back a little, Reno pressed his forehead against Rude’s. The heat was starting to get to him, but he was getting close, hand working with the goal of completion, not teasing. He just wanted to _feel_. And to forget. He chased the peak with relentless fury until he sailed right over.

“Oh, _fuck_ ,” he groaned, shooting between their bellies. He stroked himself through it and then used the cum his hand was drenched in to lube the way, paying more attention to what made his partner’s hips jerk or a little noise to rumble in his throat until he let out a long, low, satisfied sound and came, seed mixing with Reno’s on his bared belly. Reno worked him until one of Rude’s broad palms came up to stop his hand, and it was only then that Reno realized Rude’s hands had been clamped on Reno’s hips the whole time. He hadn’t explored or groped at all.

Reno laughed.

Rousing from the edge of sleep, Rude shifted Reno off his lap and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He looked to his friend with apprehension. “Reno. What’s wrong?”

“What’s—?” But Reno heard it in his voice as soon as he tried to speak. Then he felt it, splashed against the back of his cum-covered hand.

He gasped a sob, pitching forward into Rude’s shoulder and letting loose. Reno was mortified, but he couldn’t seem to stop. It had never been like this before. He just felt so _empty._

Rude’s hand was gentle as he stroked down Reno’s spine.

“This is about the VP, isn’t it?”

Reno just sniffled.

A sigh lifted and dropped Rude’s chest.

“I’m sorry,” Reno hiccuped. He meant it.

“You wanna stay here tonight?”

The kindness of Rude’s offer brought a fresh wave of tears to his eyes.

“Yeah.”

“You love him, don’t you?”

The pause before Reno answered this time was much longer.

“Yeah,” he said softly.

Reno felt Rude nod.

“This might not be what you want to hear right now, but… I think he loves you, too.”

It was a long time before Reno moved, tears silently streaming down his cheeks.


	4. Never Really Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with art by the AMAZING [Redheadedplayer](https://redheadedplayer.tumblr.com/)!!!! The expressions are absolute perfection. Thank you so much for pushing me to finish NaNo, dear. Worth it!!
> 
> A shorter chapter this time. Here there be bittersweetness. This chapter contains my favorite section.
> 
> No beta this chapter, so feel free to inform me of typos. :3
> 
> Chapter 4's title is named after Never Really Over by Katy Perry
> 
> My entire Reno/Rufus playlist for this fic can be found here: [Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJOhOL7IdH-AcehJfPoAM04Qq8U35xCDL)

_Shinra Corp, January 19, 0004_

“Hey.”

“Hello, Reno.”

Ifrit’s flaming balls, he’d missed Rufus saying his name. His immediate and pressing question was _how do I get him to do that again?_

If only Reno had any idea how to get this conversation off the ground. He simultaneously wanted to share a million things he’d stoppered up in the months they’d been apart and just stare at the man forever. Those things because he couldn’t have what he really wanted, which was to fling himself at the bastard and claim his lips. 

The gleam of silver metal on his ring finger was a glaring reminder of why that would never happen again.

Even so, Reno had fucking _missed_ Rufus. Not just as a lover. As his friend. As someone to shoot the shit with. Laugh and bitch with. Yeah, sure, he did that with Rude and Rod, and sometimes Knives, or hell, even Tseng when he was in certain moods. But Rufus… he and Rufus were born of the same fire… or some shit like that.

Apparently he was still sentimental as fuck when it came to the boss.

He wondered if that would ever fade.

“It’s okay,” Rufus said unexpectedly. “We can skip the small talk. Although I would like to hear what you’ve been up to, all this time.” Rufus laughed, but it sounded short and bitter. “I got out of jail and got married.”

Those icy blue eyes were hawkish, watching for his reaction. Reno didn’t know what he wanted to see, but in a moment of stubbornness, he didn’t want to give it to him.

“Yeah, I watched that on the security cams.” Not a lie. Also, a test of his own.

Rufus, as usual, revealed nothing. “Have you tried selling that footage? I’m sure there are a number of ‘Rufianna’ fans who would pay a pretty gil for that.”

Reno snorted. He didn’t like where this conversation was going.

“I got sent to bumfuck nowhere. Couple of SOLDIER kids went rogue again. I had to track ‘em down. They only got as far as Kalm.”

“Lovers?”

Okay, what the fuck? Did everything have to come back to relationships with them?

“Yeah, actually. I guess they were sweethearts before they enlisted. One made Second Class. The Third Class didn’t like what the mako was doin’ to ‘er partner. I told ‘em too fucking bad.” He reminisced about the way the Third had looked when he found them. Tears in her eyes. It made him feel the tiniest bit bad. But a job was a job, and they had essentially made off with Shinra property _and_ intel. The price of being a human lab rat.

“And?”

“Huh? Oh, they went back willingly enough. Dunno what happened once I left ‘em with Lazard.”

“Hmph.”

Reno narrowed his eyes at his former lover. “What?”

Rufus’s keen eyes said they knew what he picked up on, but his mouth said, “Nothing.”

Pressing his lips together, Reno forced himself to keep his mouth shut. It wasn’t his business anymore. It should have never been his business in the first place. They were a drunken accident that grew into something deeper and more complex than he reckoned either of them had ever been prepared for. And it was _over_ now.

He’d keep telling himself that until he believed it.

Because, despite the awkwardness and lingering resentment, it was _really_ fucking good to see Rufus again. Even better outside, where he looked healthier, more like himself than the hollowed out shell that sat in that apartment day after day.

He’d been watching those cameras, too.

“You look good,” he said, then flinched. It sounded so fucking cliche out loud. But he meant it.

“So do you.” Now _that_ … no. Reno couldn’t let himself even think it. He could leave himself no openings. His time with Rufus was stolen to begin with, and now it had been lost.

But they had a chance at something new.

* * *

_Rufus’s Junon Penthouse, February 15, 0004_

Rufus lay awake in the dark.

Arianna had fallen asleep an hour ago, dark lashes brushing her cheeks, breaths deep and even. The curve of her belly was pressed against his side. He was exhausted, but once again, he could not sleep.

It had been months. Months since the news she was pregnant. Months since Reno had stormed out the door without even looking back.

Rufus turned his head, looking at Arianna again. She was breathtakingly beautiful, kind, intelligent… so why?

Why did he still wish it was Reno sleeping beside him?

He wondered if Reno ever thought of him. Outside of his job, anyway. Though even in that regard, they barely saw one another, let alone talked. That was his own doing. He’d made the request of Tseng, and Reno had just… accepted it. No storming in and demanding what the hell he was on about, or even dirty looks. He accepted it, just like that. So why couldn’t Rufus?

There was a nudge against his abdomen and Arianna groaned a little in her sleep but didn’t wake. Rufus looked down to the blankets covering the swell of their baby… He would be here soon, and Rufus was terrified. He was going to be a father. The thought always set his head spinning. _You're not alone, sir_ , Tseng’s voice reminded him. But here, laying in this bed with the wrong person, he sure as hell felt alone.

Rufus scrubbed one hand over his face. He was trying to move on. He was sure Reno had already found several other lovers to replace him. It just seemed that everywhere he turned he was reminded of him.

He had fucked everything up. It was supposed to be Reno. He loved Reno. Rufus supposed that was the first mistake. Reno was intended to be a fun thing. Something easy to take his mind off the misery of his stifling life. But he had gone and fallen in love with him. And despite his every precaution taken, Arianna had gotten pregnant, and the only thing he cared for in the world slipped through his fingers.

Something tickled against Rufus’s cheek. He scratched at it, surprised when his fingertips came away wet. Disbelieving, he gingerly touched them back to his cheek. It had been… decades since he could remember crying last. He took a slow, shuddering breath and shakily released it.

He _missed_ him. Not just the sight of his wild red hair spread across the sheets. Rufus missed his company. Maybe it was time he extended a hand. He didn’t need things to be like they were before. He understood that was no longer an option. Reno could be just as stubborn, if not more so, than Rufus. He just wanted to be able to _talk_ again.

He’d ask Tseng to put him back on his detail tomorrow. Maybe that would finally help him sleep at night.

In the dark, Rufus smiled humorlessly. When the fuck did he start engaging in wishful thinking?

* * *

_Shinra Corp, April 1, 0004_

He was going back to Junon.

Rufus had only just gotten here, and already he was going back to Junon. Across the helipad, Tseng was the one seeing him off. The unfairness of it ate at Reno, but who was he to be disappointed anymore? It was approaching a year since they had broken up. Reno really needed to get over it already.

Which was why he hadn’t said more than two words to Rufus during the entirety of his visit.

But here he was, watching from a distance as Rufus prepared to depart for what would likely be another two to three months. Relegated to the occasional text message and maybe, if Reno was very lucky, a call.

It wasn’t like Rufus had gone out of his way to see him either. He had other priorities now. A wife and a weirdly beautiful baby. From a distance, they were disgustingly happy. To the point that Reno wondered if the projected image was true. Maybe, after having a child with Arianna, he had finally grown to love her. Rufus and he were ancient history, anyway. Even if he _wasn’t_ happy, it wasn’t like Rufus would just suddenly run back to him.

And really, why the fuck would he even consider that? He’d knocked up his girlfriend, and he’d chosen her over him, simple as that. Sure, he knew Rufus would have stayed with him if he hadn’t left. And maybe them being boyfriend and girlfriend wasn’t so different from them being husband and wife at the end of the day, but a baby? Fuck no. Reno didn’t want any part of that, no matter how cute Rufus looked when he was holding his son.

They were never supposed to be together. They were fools for even trying. It had always been a house of cards one fart from blowing down. He’d just let himself get caught up in sappy shit. And he was… still mired in it. No matter how hard he tried to be cross with Rufus, he couldn’t keep it up. They might not have been lovers anymore, but they were friends. And Reno was being an idiot. He huffed, fishing for a cigarette before he remembered he’d quit. Even months later, he still kept forgetting. He tapped his foot anxiously instead, watching Rufus step up to the chopper.

Just as he climbed into the doorway of the helicopter, he turned, saying something to Tseng, who nodded in acknowledgement and said something back. Then his eyes flickered up, landing right on Reno. From across the helipad, the red-haired Turk smiled at him. A genuine one. Rufus didn't return the favor, but he didn't look away either. He held Reno's gaze for a lingering moment, then swiftly turned and ducked inside the helicopter.

Not for the first time, he wondered why did this to himself. He was a masochist after all.

The chopper took off, and Tseng approached him. He braced himself for the judgement.

“Rufus is coming back to Midgar.”

“What?” Reno cried. “For real?”

“That’s what he informed me of, just now.”

Stunned, Reno replayed the moment before Rufus disappeared over in his mind.

He was trying not to read too much into it, but…

Rufus was coming back.

* * *

_Hospital, February 22, 0004_

A firm hand stopped Reno up short from his pacing. Rude gave him a stern look that Reno felt more than saw with the fluorescent lights bouncing off his sunglasses.

Reno wrenched his arm free and crossed them. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop.” He slumped sullenly next to the door, then abruptly pushed off, feet already carrying him into the same pattern.

“It’s just… what if something went wrong? It’s been quiet for a while now.”

“The baby was already born, Reno. He’s probably nursing, or asleep. They’re a new family, let them be.”

 _Family._ The word burned Reno from the inside out, making his eyes sting. It felt like a nail in the coffin of him and Rufus, and any future they might have had. Something that would forever drive a rift between them.

He turned wide, watery eyes on Rude. And he must have looked truly pathetic, for Rude took one look at him, and after glancing around to make sure they were alone, pulled him into a firm embrace.

Reno _almost_ broke. But, instead, he sniffed loudly and wrapped his arms around his partner, just as tight. Between Rude’s familiar scent and the comforting weight of his hold, Reno calmed.

Then the _click_ of the door handle turning sounded, and both jumped apart, quick to appear as though they were on full alert. A nurse snuck out of the room, glancing at them and then smiling warmly. She clearly thought they were your average private security.

“The mother is resting,” she updated. “But the father and baby boy are bonding in the area just outside her room, if you want to say hi. He said he’d like to speak to one of you when you have a moment.”

At the first mention of ‘father’ Reno’s mind drew a blank. It was a damn good thing his partner was with him. “Thank you, ma’am. We will follow up.” The nurse gave Rude an extra big smile that had the man blushing as she turned away. Usually Reno would rib him mercilessly over such a thing. Now, however…

“You okay, partner?”

Numbly, Reno looked up to Rude. “Yeah,” he said, though even he could tell he didn’t sound it. He nodded his head a few times, as though that would help him process. “I think it’s all just… finally sinking in, you know?”

“Mm,” was Rude’s response, but Reno didn’t need any more from him. He knew that Rude sympathized with what he was going through. It was weird for him, too, just in a different way from Reno.

“You gonna go in?” he asked after a moment.

Reno startled. “What? Me?!” his squawk had Rude glancing around nervously before glaring at him.

“Sorry,” he whispered. “Why _me?”_

Rude just stared.

“Rude… C’mon, man. No. We’re barely—” Reno shook his head and tried again. “He doesn’t want to see me right now.”

Somehow, despite not being able to see his eyes, Rude’s stare intensified.

“Ruuuude,” he whined.

The bald man shifted, posture guiding him to the door.

Another plaintive look was met with the same response he’d get from a wall.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “But you’re buying me drinks until I black out after this.”

Reno could sense the disapproval coming off the other Turk in waves, but he refused to take it back. He was overwhelmed in the worst way. Hospitals made him antsy at the best of times, but he’d almost rather be the one checked in than… _this._

Taking as deep of a breath as he could manage, Reno steeled himself and pushed the door open.

His heart broke and renewed all at once.

There, in the far corner of the room, sat Rufus in a rocking chair holding a bundle so small that, for one terrifying moment, Reno thought it was empty. But then the bundle moved and cooed, and familiar blue eyes, glassy even in the dim light, looked up at him in wonder.

For several seconds, all Reno could do was drink in the picture. Eventually, he found his voice. 

“Fatherhood looks good on you.”

Rufus’s irises were as wide and endless as the sky.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” he admitted in a choked whisper.

Reno laughed, barely remembering to keep the volume low. “I don’t think anyone ever does, Boss. I figure if people like you an’ me can make it, this brat will do alright.”

Rufus continued to stare at the sleeping baby nestled in his arms. He was so lost that he startled when Reno placed a hand on his shoulder, then fearfully checked his son for signs of waking.

Masking his disappointment, Reno indulged himself by running his thumb across Rufus’s shoulder a couple times. “I’d say he’s got a better start than the both of us combined.”

That earned a pleasant chuckle out of his ex-lover.

Rufus looked up at Reno again, and this time his gaze lingered. The grip Reno had on his shoulder tightened.

Reno cleared his throat just as Rufus licked his lips.

“Rude and I are on detail tonight,” he rushed to say. Before Rufus could give voice to that look in his eyes. “So get some rest. We’ll take care of everything, ‘kay?”

Seeming to deflate in his chair, Rufus finally tore his eyes away from Reno. Though he looked at his son, Reno got the impression he wasn’t seeing him this time. He edged closer to the door.

“Of course. Thank you, Reno.”

Rufus had been whispering, but the words rang in Reno’s head like they’d been shouted.

When he finally took up his post opposite of Rude, he was met with one of his partner’s signature looks. Reno returned one that _clearly_ said he did not want to talk about it and proceeded to ignore both him and the sudden urge to smoke.


	5. Sleepless Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise chapter! Merry Christmas!
> 
> More bittersweet contemplation. A breath before everything changes.
> 
> No beta this chapter, so feel free to inform me of typos. :3
> 
> Chapter 5's title is named after Sleepless Nights by ayokay (feat. Nightly)
> 
> My entire Reno/Rufus playlist for this fic can be found here: [Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJOhOL7IdH-AcehJfPoAM04Qq8U35xCDL)

_Sector 2, August 6, 0006_

A high-pitched shriek pierced the air.

Reno jerked his head towards the sound so fast something in his neck popped and heated with eye-watering pain. He cursed and gripped at it, still ready to blur into motion… until he was met with the sight of Rufus, dopily grinning at the toddler squirming in his arms and continuing to giggle. The VP tossed his son into the air, conjuring another shriek of delight followed by peals of laughter.

Reno’s chest still seized at the sight. Then icy-blue eyes met his from across the park, and he quickly wiped the soft smile off his lips and looked away. A feigned scan for threats became a real one as he got his priorities back in order. He rubbed at the tender muscles in his neck.

“Everything okay?”

Reno spared his partner a glance. He heard what he wasn't saying. “Peachy,” he exhaled sardonically.

He could feel the weight of Rude’s shaded gaze. He also knew that, whatever it was he was thinking, he wouldn’t dare say it now. Too many people were still lingering in the newly dedicated library square. It was about time they pack the family up.

Reno motioned to Rude with his hand and turned, sauntering under the electric banner proudly claiming: _For A Brighter Tomorrow_. He snorted. Shit like that made him want to puke. President Shinra parading his son’s perfect little family around as he threw parties for his own “good deeds” while kids died in the slums from starvation. What a hero.

By the time they approached the VP, he was handing off his offspring to Arianna. She smiled politely at them. Reno exerted some self-control for once and didn’t sneer. He focused his attention on Rufus instead.

“Ready to go, Boss?”

“Yes. Rude, if you would take my wife and son back to the penthouse?” he asked, though it obviously wasn’t a question. “Reno; you’re with me.”

“Boss?”

Rufus ignored his question and brushed past him, leaving Reno to shoot a bewildered look at Rude and then follow after the VP. He quickly noted that there were, in fact, two black sedans here now.

Still utterly confused, he opened the back door of the one he had codes for and made the mistake of catching Rufus’s eye as he got in.

The look punched the air from his lungs.

He stood there for full seconds before shaking the stun off and climbing in the driver’s seat.

“Where to?” His voice broke. He cleared his throat.

“The office.”

The man’s words were cool, but Reno could still feel the heat from those steely blue eyes. Too chickenshit to look in the rearview mirror, he didn’t bother to check more than the side mirrors before he pulled out onto the road, and began the drive back to HQ.

The nice thing about having an office in the middle of a city was that you were never really farther away from it no matter what part of the city you were in. Twenty minutes average. Forty to an hour with traffic or if you were traveling from the slums.

The downside was that the drive was usually over pretty quickly, and Reno was not ready to get out of the car. Somehow, being trapped in a car with Rufus Shinra was infinitely better than escorting him to his office, alone.

Reno figured he’d try his luck.

“You need an escort today, Boss?” he dared a glance in the rearview mirror and quickly returned his eyes to dead ahead. Those baby blues were still locked onto him.

“Yes, I think I’ll take you up on that offer,” came Rufus’s cool, deep, voice. A little shiver traveled up Reno’s spine. He practically threw himself out the door to disguise it. Rufus got out of the back by himself. Whoops. He was probably supposed to open that or some shit, but he wasn’t a damn valet, and clearly Rufus knew that.

“Okay, where to?”

The _look_ Rufus gave him had him scrambling through his memory banks.

“Right! The office! Gotcha.” Reno confidently strode off for the parking lot elevator, trying to cool his embarrassment. He was making a real ass of himself today. Moreso than usual. But what could he say? Having his former lover looking at him like _that_ was putting him on edge. It was distracting and… not totally unwelcome.

Reno tapped his card and punched the button for the elevator way harder than was necessary. It was only when it opened that the Turk realized he was going to be trapped in an elevator with Rufus. All the way up to his office, squirreled away on floor 69.

There was some irony in that. Ifrit, he did not need to be thinking of that right now.

The door slid open.

Swallowing hard, he stepped into the elevator, trying to steel his nerves. As Rufus followed him, the alluring and familiar smell of Rufus’s cologne encompassed that space. He hadn’t been this close to Rufus in ages. Even after all this time, it made his heart race. Memories of being enveloped in that scent too powerful to shake. 

“Everything alright, Reno? You’re awfully jittery.” Reno could strangle Rufus for that infuriatingly smug tone. Or kiss him. He had to keep reminding himself that _that wasn’t an option._

“Peachy, Boss.” They were rising above the city, and Reno was staring out the windows as hard as he could. He sensed Rufus shift and refocused his eyes to see the vague reflection of the VP in the glass.

“Are you sure? You’re so tense. I haven’t seen you smoking lately.” A touch on his shoulder made him jolt. Reno grimaced and turned to face his former lover. Rufus raised a pointed eyebrow. They still had twenty or so floors to go. Reno took a deep breath, which only proved to be a huge mistake as more of Rufus’s smell filled his lungs.

“Quit,” he grunted. Like hell he was telling him why.

“Oh?” For a moment, Rufus seemed genuinely surprised. Reno counted it as a win. Not much ever seemed to phase the man these days. But the little burst of satisfaction didn’t last. Rufus’s gaze was heavy and expectant. All the Turk training in the world couldn’t have stopped him from cracking under the weight of those cerulean irises.

“Fine! You wanna know what’s wrong? This is fucking weird, Rufus!” Reno wasn’t exactly angry, but he was flustered and a little frustrated. “You’ve been gone for months, then you come back, but your—” Reno caught his tongue just in time from saying ‘father.’ He didn’t trust the elevators. “You’ve been so busy I’ve barely even seen you.”

Rufus inclined his head. “Ah,” was his lackluster reply. He could see that Rufus understood his concern now. The elevator slowed, and the doors opened. Rufus forged ahead, and Reno fell into step quickly, automatically looking for threats. He followed him all the way to his office, where Rufus abruptly whirled, leaving Reno to back up against the door.

“My office is safe,” he told him. “I sweep it personally every day.”

Reno let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Your father’s been parading you around like a damn show chocobo and I’ve barely gotten within ten paces of ya,” he griped. “You weren’t exactly calling every day before that either, so…” Reno realized how that sounded and was quick to redirect Rufus’s attention. “Why the hell did you even want to come back here? Forget a file or something?” He crossed his arms defensively across his chest.

Rufus had the opposite reaction, his posture relaxing. Well, as much as Rufus Shinra’s posture ever relaxed. “I wanted to speak to you somewhere safe.”

Reno stilled. “Seriously?”

“Quite.”

“Why,” he demanded.

The frown curving Rufus’s pale lips surprised him.

“I thought we could talk.”

Reno was flummoxed. “We couldn’ta done that outside? Or in the car?”

“Not without worrying about others overhearing.” Blue-green eyes narrowed. 

“Only reason to worry about that is if you have something to say that you don’t want overheard.”

Just like that, there was a smile on Rufus’s face, small though it was. Fuck, Rufus was handsome when he smiled like that.

“You should do that more often,” he said before he really thought about it.

Rufus stepped closer. He had that look in his eyes again. Like Rufus was about to eat him alive.

“Do what?” Shit, he was saying it like that on purpose. And Reno wasn’t even mad about it.

But what was going on here? Why was he even thinking like this? What he’d said was true. They had barely been messaging one another in the month he’d been back. He hadn’t so much as hinted at anything other than professionalism with him.

But he’d be a fucking liar if he said he didn’t still think about it. With someone like Rufus, it was hard to forget. The bigger issue was that he still wanted it.

“Rufus,” he breathed.

He was still coming closer.

“Yes?”

He was right in front of him.

“What are you doing?”

For one moment, Rufus’s confidence faltered. Blue eyes searched teal.

“I don’t know.”

It was that—the honesty in Rufus’s voice—that made him lift a hand, locking his elbow and accosting Rufus’s movement. He took a moment, just staring at his own hand against the crisp white fabric of Rufus’s jacket. It was maybe the second time he’d touched Rufus since they’d broken up. He lifted his chin to look in Rufus’s eyes.

“What do you want to talk about?” he asked in the most formal voice he possessed.

Though nothing in Rufus’s posture shifted, his disappointment was palpable.

“I just wanted to make sure you will still be on the roster for my personal detail. You’re right. We have seen little of each other. I’d like to change that.”

Reno knew that wasn’t what Rufus wanted to say, but he couldn’t detect any fallacy in the words.

“Yeah, Boss,” he said, quiet. “I’m still on.” And then something possessed him to add, “You can request me again like you did today, if you like.”

A softer, less hungry, but more enigmatic smile crossed his face. “I would.”

Reno was so so so _fucked_ , and not in the way he wanted to be.

* * *

_En route to Tseng’s, August 14, 0006_

It felt like Reno’s eyes were going to fail him at any second. They felt gritty, and the road was starting to blur. It was a good thing he could follow this route in his sleep. Even better that it was later—or perhaps early—enough now that there were few other vehicles on the road. It reminded him of days long past. His brain didn’t seem to want to stay in the present.

_Late sunlight filtering through cracked windows. The tang of salt on the air and warmth pressed against his side. Almost too hot, but too electrifying to pull away from._

_Turning at the sound of his name, eyes reflecting the pinks and purples of the sky, heavy-lidded, wanting. Strands of golden blond tossed on the breeze._

_Stars. You could see stars there. They’d drive all night. They’d drink. They’d laugh. And then…_

He turned, headlights scanning over the sign “Shinra Suites.” The familiarity paired with the wrong company sent a pang through him.

_Hands fisting sheets. Rufus moving over him,_ in _him. Perfect stretch, perfect angle, perfect_ pleasure _._

_But not done, no. No, they were both too greedy for that. Over and over. Every night._

They couldn’t go back. Reno knew that. Fuck, he’d demanded it. He just couldn’t understand why the memories so stubbornly clung to him this time. His entire life had been making decisions, accepting the consequences, and moving on. Dwelling on the past got you jack shit and was depressing as hell. Maybe it was because Rufus wasn’t really _past._ He was front and center. Still the most important person in his world.

That was his job, and he didn’t begrudge it. But looking at Rufus… a father now, as cold and calculating as ever… he kept seeing him like he was overlaid with past images. Ghosts of summers long past.

_Illuminated by moon glow through the slit in the window, the city speeding by outside. The tang of sun kissed skin and the sweet smoke of whiskey tasted off soft lips._

_Hiking into town, sweat running down his neck, grumpily bitching everything out, cursing the car, cursing the road, cursing Reno._

Reno clutched at his chest. Wishing the crushing pressure would stop. He fucking _hated_ feeling like this.

_Fingers tangled in hair like silk—just long enough—clutching, shuddering as he moved. His eyes, dazed with pleasure and lack of sleep, but his motions sharp, grip urgent, everything so, so good..._

“Thanks for the lift, Reno.” Tseng startled him from his thoughts, but he was too damn tired to do more than quickly glance at his boss and nod his head. Tseng didn’t get out. “Are you sure you don’t want to crash on my futon? I’m a bit concerned that, if I let you drive yourself back to your place right now, I’ll be down an employee tomorrow.”

Reno summoned a bit more vitriol for the next look he shot at Tseng. “I’ll be fine, _dad.”_

_Rufus, grinning like a damn idiot as his son wiggled in his hold._

A fresh arrow of pain shot through him.

He didn’t _want_ that, dammit!

A hand wrapped around his bicep and he reflexively jerked it away.

“Come on Reno. Park the car and come in. That’s an order.”

Fuck, he must have spaced out for longer than he thought.

“Yeah, fine,” he spit, handling the controls with more force than was strictly necessary. Or advised.

* * *

_Rufus’s Midgar Penthouse, August 14, 0006_

_“Reno.” Every fiber of Rufus’s went on alert, and he turned to find the red-haired Turk. Strolling up to Tseng in the hallway._

_The chime of the elevator arriving compelled him to turn away._

His head was tilted back, staring up at the night sky through the skylight, watching the glow of mako regularly fade in and out. They stopped at a light. He watched until it changed from red to green.

_“Reno!” Rude sprinted over to his partner, quickly pulling him behind cover. Rufus watched the monitor and clenched his hands into fists. Rude’s distressed cry was echoing in his head._

_“Hey, hey, quit it! I said stop—For fuck’s sake, I’m fine!”_

_Rufus could breathe again._

Laying alone on his bed in the office apartment, he gazed into the nothingness of the shadows. On the edges of sleep, he could almost imagine his lithe form slipping into the room.

His eyes closed.

His son was two years old now. They were ancient history. Reno had barely spared him more than a glance in months. He wasn’t cold, exactly, but all of their interactions were strictly professional now. No hint of playful banter or even real conversation. Nothing of the foul-mouthed, brash nature he was known for. He’d gotten a taste of it the other day; until he’d pushed too hard and Reno had clammed up.

_“Oh, Reno,” Arianna said with mild surprise._

_Rufus’s heart started pounding before he even laid eyes on the man._

_“Sorry, Tseng had something come up. Looks like you’re stuck with me on security detail instead.” He flashed a smile that had Rufus’s head spinning._

There was no universe in which he could imagine Reno being a father.

And yet…

_Reno, dismounting the helicopter, wild grin on his face, a silhouette on the rooftop against the glow of the city._

_Reno, illuminated by moonlight, somehow still the most vibrant thing he’d ever seen in its silver wash of light._

_Reno, smoking like it was something sensual, curls of clove-scented smoke dancing towards a sky streaked with purple clouds. Stunning._

Rufus rolled over in bed, chest weighted down with the memories. Late nights that became early mornings, and what came between them.

_Reno, grinding down in his lap, too sharp nails biting into his shoulders, caught breaths and throaty cries._

Sighing, Rufus forced himself to look away from the door and the ghosts of the past. Looking backwards was for fools.

But no matter how many times he told himself that, how deeply he knew it to be true, those summer images would not leave. Every time he closed his eyes, it wasn’t his wife or his son that he saw. It was…

_Reno, skin pink from too long in the sun._

_Reno, on his knees in the limo, lips stretched taut and somehow still grinning._

_Reno, mouth rich with the taste of his own top shelf liquor._

_Reno, insisting on one more club before they called it a night._

_Reno, on his back, legs cinched around his hips, demanding he move harder, faster, into the perfect, tight, heat..._

Rufus turned to the bedside table for a couple of sleeping pills.

* * *

_Tseng’s Apartment, August 15, 0006_

Reno woke with a pounding headache. That on its own wasn’t unusual. It was just typically preceded by a lot of booze and a helluva good time he could only half remember.

This morning all he had were crystal clear sober memories and a void in his chest.

“You’re finally awake.”

Reno jerked upright and was halfway to grabbing his baton when his groggy brain registered it as Tseng’s voice. He used the momentum to sit and put his head in his hands. Fuck, but he felt like shit today.

Tseng just stood there while Reno rubbed his eyes and tried to hold on to a thought for more than a second. After a few moments, he quietly stalked away. Reno listened to the soft click of glass and the faucet, then a dry familiar rattling. He returned and set a glass of water and a bottle of pills on the table next to the couch, which he now recognized as his bed for the night. No wonder his whole body hurt. He was too old for this shit.

Or maybe he’d just become one of those pampered pets he so loathed.

He grabbed the pills, swallowed them dry, then chugged the water. His stomach protested, the sloshing bringing queasiness to the forefront of the host of unpleasant sensations assaulting him, but he knew from experience the more hydration he got, the better he felt. Still, it was enough to make him rethink standing anytime soon, and he slumped back on the couch. Tseng continued to stand over him, waiting.

Reno rubbed the heels of his hands into his aching eyes. He’d be waiting a damn long time.

Eventually, Reno felt his boss’s weight settle on the far end of the couch.

The redhead sighed and threw an arm over his face. “I don’t want to talk about it, Tseng.”

“What you want doesn’t have bearing on this, Reno. Something is bothering you. While I have my suspicions, I’d rather hear it from you.”

Reno snorted. _Suspicions;_ right. Like Tseng didn’t know exactly what was going on. He groaned, heart constricting. “Gimme a break, Chief.”

“No.” Shiva, why did Tseng always have to be a hardass at the worst of times?

“Look, Tseng,” Reno dragged himself up into a sitting position. “I was just… remembering some sad shit from the past last night, that’s all.”

The line of Tseng’s mouth, if possible, grew flatter. He nodded as if Reno had confirmed his ‘suspicions.’ “We both know that’s not all, Reno,” he chastised firmly, but not unkindly. “You've been distracted for months; and while it has yet to affect your job, we both know it’s only a matter of time. You’re my best operative, Reno—” Reno rolled his eyes, having heard this part of Tseng’s spiel before. A hand shot out and gripped his jaw right at the joints. A flash of terror passed through Reno as he looked up to Tseng with wide, betrayed eyes. “You’re going to listen to me this time, Reno. I know your feelings on my opinion, but like it or not, you _are_ the most experienced and capable of leading, after me. And it is not like you to be this sloppy. You’re going to work out your issues or I’m taking you off the roster and you’ll sit with a Shinra therapist for a month. Are we clear?” Afraid to move, Reno blinked twice at his boss. Tseng immediately let go, his posture relaxing a fraction. Reno released a slow, shaky breath. Normally, Reno was incredibly comfortable around his colleagues, but interrogation Tseng still scared the shit out of him. “And Reno,” blue-green eyes looked back to Tseng, who seemed to be speaking to him as a friend once more. “You can always talk to me.”

Tseng was looking at him with sympathetic eyes that said, _I know._ With a jolt, Reno realized he probably did. “Sorry, Tseng,” he offered quietly. The dark-haired man nodded to him and patted his knee.

“Eating will make you feel better. Are eggs and ham alright?”

“Sure.”

As Reno laid there, listening to Tseng move around his little kitchen, the smells of cooking slowly filling the space, he stared at the ceiling and thought.


	6. In Your Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 4 NOW HAS ART BY REDHEADEDPLAYER PLZ CHECK IT OUT. ^_^
> 
> Tragedy ahead, and hope. If you don’t have triggers and/or don’t want to be spoiled, ignore the more specific spoiler/trigger warning below:
> 
> -Start of Spoiler-
> 
> This chapter contains familial death. In particular, the death of a child and spouse. The death isn’t graphic, but the grief is. You may want to skip the beginning of the chapter and jump straight to Healen Lodge, April 2, 0009, which is over a year later, if you want to read the rest of the story without reading the most intense part where everyone finds out. 
> 
> -End of Spoiler-
> 
> No beta this chapter, so feel free to inform me of typos. :3
> 
> Chapter 6's title is named after In Your Arms by ILLENIUM and X Ambassadors
> 
> My entire Reno/Rufus playlist for this fic can be found here: [Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJOhOL7IdH-AcehJfPoAM04Qq8U35xCDL)

_ Shinra Corp, January 23, 0008 _

Reno had never been so relieved as he was when Rufus collapsed into his arms, exhausted and probably injured but alive. If it weren’t for Rufus’s stern voice in his head telling him to do his job, he wouldn’t have even considered leaving his side. Conscious Rufus would never have accepted that, though, especially when the escort of his wife and child had gone silent. It gave Reno an uneasy feeling in his stomach, and he knew Rufus well enough that they'd be one of his top priorities. The pregnancy might not have been something he planned for or wanted, but he was a damn good father who loved his son. Since Rufus wasn't awake to bark orders and find the brat, Reno was going to take up the helm instead.

First things first, he checked the intranet again. It had gone out with WEAPON's blast and still wasn't back online. Rufus would probably have something to say about that, too, but Reno wasn't about to step in that mess. Good old pavement pounding it was. As soon as he bullied a low ranking SOLDIER out of his motorcycle.

The streets were a mess. Both Sectors 1 and 8 hadn’t been fully repaired after AVALANCHE blew up Reactor 1; now everything was in even worse shape. Debris clogged the streets everywhere he turned. Reno canvassed the most likely routes on the way to the safe-house, but found nothing. Hopefully that meant they had made it safely into the bunker below the building. It was getting harder to find paths he could squeeze his vehicle through the closer he got. He was just about to get off the bike and hoof it on foot when his cell rang. Seeing Tseng’s number, he answered the call quickly. Tseng spoke before he could even say hello.

"Reno, you can stop. They found them."

A tremendous sigh left Reno’s lungs. He didn’t bother asking how he even knew what he was doing. Rude must have filled him in.

"Bitchin', Chief. How are they?"

The silence that met him had him pulling the phone away from his ear to check that it was still on. A weight settled in his stomach as Tseng's tone finally caught up with him.

"Tseng?"

"They're dead, Reno."

Reno’s knees gave out.

Hurriedly catching himself on a wall, he shook his head in denial. Inexorably, Tseng went on, "The car was a block away from the safe-house. One of WEAPON's volley of blasts hit near the edge of the city, causing an earthquake and destabilizing the buildings in the area. One still under construction had a beam slip free and landed right on the car."

It felt like Reno couldn’t breathe. "And revive…?"

"Unsuccessful. They've already returned to the planet."

Sickening dread left him feeling like he was about to hurl.  _ Rufus. _ "Oh fuck, Rufus," he keened.

"I'll take care of informing the president. But Reno." Tseng stopped speaking, and Reno belatedly realized he wanted him to respond. He sniffed.

"Yeah, Tseng?"

"Pull yourself together, Turk. He's going to need you. Especially after the hospital kicks me out."

Tseng's words were harsh, but not without compassion; and he was right.

"What're ya gonna do?"

"Let him rest as long as he can. But once he wakes up… he needs to be clear-headed."

Reno got the meaning immediately.

"Alright." He swallowed the bile clawing up his throat. "I'll be ready."

"Good. Now get back to the Shinra building. There are still many important department heads unaccounted for. I'll take care of Rufus for now. I'll call you once he wakes."

"Okay."

Tseng hung up. Reno stared at the phone with a stillness that was completely uncharacteristic of him. Very calmly, he put the phone deliberately in his pocket.

Then he screamed.

"Dammit!" Reno roared, throwing his fist at the brick he was propped up against and immediately regretting it. "Fuck! Fuck me!  _ Fuck!" _

This wasn't right. Reno damn well knew there was no such thing as right, but this was well beyond that. Losing Rufus’s son while someone like him kept scuttling around like a damn cockroach suggested something wrong with the world on a level he couldn’t comprehend.

Then again, Reno had seen this kinda thing all his damn life. Babies and kids dying in the slums while the lowest of the low kept scraping by. It had never bothered him before.

But none of them had been Rufus’s kid.

As he nursed his aching hand, Reno pressed his forehead against the grit of the stone. Reno had never even gotten close to the brat. The reason he and Rufus didn’t get their future together. But he had always watched from a distance. He'd never seen Rufus look at anyone the way he looked at that kid, himself included. And the kid… he worshipped the ground his dad walked on.

His eyes drifted closed. Rufus was going to be devastated. Reno ground his skin into the cold brick.  _ That _ was the part that got to him. He imagined the look on his face when he told him  _ 'No,'  _ only a thousand times worse.

How the hell was he going to help Rufus through this?

Finally, Reno shoved himself off the wall. Stewing about it and making himself sick wasn't going to do anything. He'd figure it out as he went along.

He had a job, and he was a Turk.

* * *

_ Hospital, January 25, 0008 _

The world was pain.

Rufus struggled to open his eyes, then struggled harder to keep them that way. Everything was blurry. He tried to make out anything in his surroundings, but his eyes were heavy and nothing would stay still. The last thing he remembered was…

Reno.

Reno had been with him, right? “Reno?” he called. Or rather, tried to call. It was more of a slurred croak.

“Sir.” Ah. Rufus knew that voice. Not Reno. “Tseng?” He opened his eyes again, stubbornly clinging to consciousness, half wondering if he was hallucinating. Slowly, his vision improved enough that he could see Tseng, looking less than immaculate. His suit was rumpled and bloodstained, and he was about to ask a question when a nurse walked into the room.

“Good evening, sir. Nice to see you awake finally.”

Rufus frowned at that.

“How long have…” his voice gave out, and he looked to Tseng for help. The Turk was already pouring a cup of water and bringing it to Rufus’s cracked lips. He only got one gulp of water before it was yanked away.

“Slow,” Tseng chided. For the head Turk to be talking to Rufus in such a way, things must really be bad. He needed to shake off this fog and get a report. But fuck did it hurt.

“How long have I been out?” He managed to get the whole sentence out, then returned his attention to Tseng, silently commanding he be given more water.

The dark-haired man complied, but only after giving him another warning with his eyes. Desperate to not be denied this time, Rufus obeyed and drank from the cup slowly as the nurse gave her answer.

“Two days. But remarkably, it seems you haven’t suffered any head trauma. A fractured leg and a couple of broken ribs. We have you on some pretty strong painkillers, but you most likely just needed the rest, if what Mr. Liu here says is accurate.”

Rufus was  _ far _ too high to not raise an eyebrow at that name. Tseng’s stare became all the more stern.

“Thank you, miss. May we have a moment?”

“Of course. Just let me check his monitor and update his chart.”

If Rufus had been more lucid, he would have sensed Tseng’s tension. As it was, time was still blurring together. The nurse was gone, but he wasn’t sure when that happened. Tseng looked to the door, then produced a syringe. That was enough to startle him more awake.

“Tseng, what—” 

“Just a moment, Mr. President.” Tseng said, voice cool and composed. “I need you more awake.”

The trickle of fear didn’t leave Rufus, but even drugged, the logical part of his mind told him that if Tseng wanted him dead, he apparently had forty-eight hours of opportunity.

Smoothly fitting the syringe into one of the tubes already inserted in his veins, Tseng dispensed the medication, and waited.

The effect took hold quickly, the fog in his head clearing considerably. Though with the clarity, came sharper pain.

“What was that?”

“Just a light stimulant.” There was a hint of a smile in Tseng’s voice, but it was short-lived. His face grew grim once more.

Dread pooled in Rufus’s gut.

“Tseng,” Rufus rasped. He couldn’t bring himself to say more. He wanted to ask what and was afraid to ask who. So instead he put all his emotion and command into his name. When Tseng’s eyes slipped closed with a quiet sigh, his heart seized. He could actually see it stutter and increase on the monitor next to Tseng’s head. The man himself didn’t miss it either. Tseng’s hand moved, and for a moment Rufus thought he was actually going to touch him, but he settled it on his own knee instead.

“Rufus,” the Turk’s voice was heavy in a way Rufus had never heard before, and it was setting off every alarm bell in his head. Reno had been fine. His family had been…

On the way to safety.

_ “Tseng," _ he spoke so forcefully his voice cracked. But he didn’t even blink as he stared Tseng down. Sad, steely, brown eyes met his unwaveringly as he uttered words so devastating, he couldn’t process them immediately.

“Your wife and son were killed by some structural damage resulting from one of WEAPON’s attacks en route to the safe-house.”

Initially Rufus felt nothing, though he was vaguely grateful Tseng hadn’t bothered saying ‘I’m sorry.’ Turks experienced death frequently. Of both those they cared about and those they didn’t. Rufus wasn’t a stranger to it but…

“My son?”

Tseng’s hand tightened on his own knee. “Yes.” Though he still didn’t say it, Rufus recognized what Tseng wanted to say. “My _ son?” _

The Turk’s voice was so soft. “Yes.”

The world was blurry again. He couldn’t see Tseng, anyway. When fiery streaks ran down his cheeks, Rufus realized he was crying. Something was uncorked in him. He took a great heaving breath and sobbed, then choked on the pain it caused. But he couldn’t stop. He cried in a way he couldn’t remember doing once, even as a child. Shiva,  _ his child. _

A weight settled heavily on his shoulder, Tseng’s hand grounding him. Ordinarily he would have violently shrugged such a display of comfort off. This time, he couldn’t muster up the anger or strength for such a thing. There was only grief, far more agonizing than his broken bones.

Rufus lost time again.

Maybe he had passed out, or maybe a nurse or doctor had come in and given him something, but there was light filtering in through the slats in the shaded window, and Tseng was nowhere to be seen.

Instead, there was…

“Heya, Boss.”

Rufus’s aching eyes started leaking again.

“Whoa, now!” Reno rocketed up, sitting on the bed and smoothing the hair back from his face in a second, making soft hushing sounds. Rufus cried harder, but he was glad for the man’s presence. The one person who could weasel his way past his barriers and soothe the core of him, even if there was nothing that could ease this pain. “Let it out, Rufus.” A slim hand nestled into his. “Just not too hard, k? Don’t wanna get banned like Tseng.” Rufus’s watery blues looked up at Reno in startlement. “Yeah, the doctor didn’t take to well to him slipping ya drugs and then sending ya into a panic attack.'' His gaze turned confused. He didn’t remember that at all. “Don’t worry about it, Ru.” He petted blond locks once more and Rufus’s heart gave another painful lurch. “Just focus on takin’ it easy. The Turks are takin’ care of the rest.” Despite his words, Reno had to be incredibly stressed for his accent to be this pronounced.

“They’re gone, Reno,” he croaked.

For a few seconds, there was just silence and the gentle brush of fingers through his hair. It must have been disgusting, but Reno didn’t seem to mind it at all. 

“Yeah, I know.” his voice was rough and tired. “I’m sorry, Rufus. I really am.”

Though Rufus had not wanted to hear that, just then, when Reno said it, he didn’t mind so much.

Reno still felt sick. Seeing Rufus so broken… it hurt in a way he couldn’t explain.

But staying beside this man in the worst moment of his life threw another feeling into sharp relief.

Reno still loved him.

The thought of all that remained unsaid between them… If this had been the end… And obviously now was not the right moment. But after all this time, Reno finally understood that if his feelings hadn’t gone anywhere through all of this, they definitely weren’t going anywhere now.

As he silently gripped Rufus’s hand, he made a vow. Their lives were chaos, and Rufus had just had his undone, so he was going to be there for him. Every step of the way. Not just as a loyal Turk, but as a friend who loved him. It didn’t matter if they never got what they had back, Reno was just grateful he had him now. The last few days had been a reminder of how easily life slipped away.

He wasn’t going to wallow over the things he’d lost anymore. It was time to be grateful for what he had.

* * *

_ Healen Lodge, April 2, 0009 _

“You need to eat more, Rufus.”

“I don’t feel like it today.”

Reno slammed the tray down on Rufus’s desk, slopping a fair bit of the stew.

“Too damn bad. Get your scrawny ass over here before I drag it over.”

For one brief flash that might have been a trick of the light, Reno thought he saw an amused gleam in Rufus’s eye. The one he could still see. The other was covered over with bandaging. Though the eye itself was fine, Rufus didn’t like to display any of the black marks marring his body. The stigma was slowly creeping closer, though it seemed to gain a frightening amount of ground on days like today. It was why Reno was so close at hand.

Twice now, he had nearly lost the man he loved to the Lifestream. As cheesy as it was, he actually thought it might be fate that had led him to finding Rufus in that cave when they were out of clues and out of time. Reno didn’t believe in a lot of things, but he had seen enough shit to know the Lifestream was very real, and that there were people who were tied together in meaningful ways.

Rufus and the Turks were his family. The only one he was ever gonna have. And that meant fighting for them, even in the moments they had given up.

Most days were good days. Rufus’s strength of will was somethin’ else. And he had goals he wanted to see through. But days like today…

One cold blue eye glared balefully at him from his wheelchair. Even sitting and depressed, Rufus’s presence alone dominated the room.

But Reno would not be cowed so easily. He marched right over to Rufus and shoved the chair forward. It didn’t budge. Rufus glanced up at him, a small smile on his face.

_ Good. _

“Bastard! Either unlock the wheels or have me bring the damn soup to you. One way or another, it’s going down your throat. The only question is how much you want on that pretty white jacket of yours.” Reno swore he still had a never ending supply of the things, but Rufus seemed to value them. It was weird seeing him sentimental about… anything… but Reno wasn’t going to complain if it helped get him what he wanted.

In this case, for Rufus to  _ fucking eat something. _

Rufus released a beleaguered sigh.  _ “Fine. _ If it gets you to stop throwing a tantrum.”

“I wouldn’t hav’ta throw a tantrum if you’d stop being such a brat!”

Rufus flinched, honest to Bahamut flinched, and Reno mentally kicked himself.

Silently, Rufus flicked the wheels free and Reno pushed him forward once more, this time successfully getting him to the desk, just in time for his entire body to seize. Reno’s manner switched abruptly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, rubbing circles into Rufus’s back as his jaw clenched, agony apparent even in his silence. “I shouldn’t talk to ya that way. You’re still the boss. I’m sorry.” Reno was babbling, but he couldn’t seem to stop. He’d stepped out of line, and he knew it. He tapped his foot anxiously, felt his pocket for the cigarette carton that wasn’t there—that hadn’t been there in years. It was just the weeks of watching Rufus waste away… the frustration of not being able to do a damn thing about it other than watch. 

Rufus grit his teeth, waves of pain pulsing through his body, unlike anything he’d ever felt before. It was like he was being invaded. He knew exactly what was happening—the cause and the solution. It was just so  _ hard _ to stay cheerful sometimes. In the grand scheme of things, it hadn’t been that long since he’d lost Arianna and Charlie. Some days the grief was just sharper than others.

Today had been one of those days.

Warm hands gently rubbed at his back, soothing him through the pain and accompanying nausea. Reno was the only one he would allow to do this. He let his head pitch to the side.

“I just can’t today, Reno,” he groaned. “I’m exhausted and feel like I’m about to puke.”

“Oh? I didn’t know Rufus Shinra was a quitter,” came the mocking retort.

Rufus responded to that with a wordless snarl.

It was good. He was beyond frustrated, but he knew precisely what Reno was doing, and he welcomed it. Sometimes he thought Reno was the only thing keeping him going. To the point that more and more often, he was getting fool ideas in his head.

"I'm not quitting, I'm just going easy today."

"Never known you to be someone who did that either."

Rufus glowered at him. "What do you want from me, Reno?" he snapped.

"You know damn well what I want!" he shouted back, gesturing at the food.

"Fine," he gritted out, taking the spoon pointedly and shoving it into his mouth. He forced himself to swallow around the knot in his throat. His stomach protested, but he kept it down. "Happy?"

"Not yet. More."

Rufus closed his eyes and groaned.

When he opened them, Reno was kneeling next to him. "Hey," a scarred but no less elegant hand rested on his arm. His voice had lost all of its vitriol. "I'm not letting you leave me, okay? Just a little bit more."

It sounded so similar to Rufus’s pleading years ago that he sagged a little more. He lifted a hand to place atop Reno’s. "I'm not going anywhere. Not when there are goals to accomplish."

Reno's grip tightened. "Then you need to eat, Rufus."

"I know," he whispered. "I'm just tired."

"Yeah? Well buck up, princess, I don't think either of us wants me feeding you."

For the first time in weeks, Rufus chuckled a little. "You're right." He took a deep breath. His body only ached a little now. "At least eat with me?" He turned vulnerable baby blues on Reno, who immediately caved.

"Sure thing, Boss." The Turk hopped to his feet, eager to take any action that would move Rufus in a positive direction. "I'll be right back!"

An unfamiliar sliver of warmth lit up his chest.

* * *

_ Healen Lodge, June 13, 0009 _

Rufus had been acting… really weird lately. In the last month he hadn’t needed to fight with him in order to get him to eat once, he'd adopted a softer tone with him and the other Turks, and, most disconcerting of all, he had reinstated casual touch between them. Which, despite his suspicions, he hadn't protested in the slightest. He was fucking worse than Dark Nation, the way he quietly sought Rufus’s soft touches. Increasingly, they were having moments that felt like the past come back to life. Only this time, the only barrier was in that history itself, and Rufus's grief. Two not so small barriers.

Still, Reno was happy. Rufus's bad days were less frequent and less intense than they used to be. They had more quiet moments, like this, with Rufus by the fireplace with a book and Reno sprawled on the sofa, trading lighthearted banter.

But Rufus had been silent for a long time, staring into the flames.

"Ru?"

"Hm?" he acknowledged, not looking up.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?"

"The past." He sounded distant. Like he wasn't just thinking about the past, but had become embedded in it. Reno sat up, his total attention on his boss. Intuition told him to tread carefully. 

"What about it?"

Deliberately, Rufus closed his book and swiveled to face Reno, though he seemed to be looking more through him than at him. "How everything unfolded between us… How it ended." Rufus's voice was the softest Reno had ever heard. His throat was suddenly parched.  _ Tactful _ had never really been an adjective attached to Reno, but he needed it to be now.

"I ended it." Sticking to the facts was probably best for now.

"Because of my error."

Reno stiffened. He and Rufus had never talked about this.

"How so?"

"I didn't have supplies when she showed up," he stated simply. Tiredly.

"Oh." He wasn't sure what else he could say.

"It was never about you, or her," he continued. "There was no contest there. It was about him. I chose him over you,” he confessed quietly, eyes flicking up to meet his, “Not her.”

“I know,” Reno replied, adopting the same hushed tone. The intensity of his gaze burned.

“I knew you wouldn’t raise children with me.”

“You’re right.” While his voice was utterly devoid of emotion, Reno’s aquamarine eyes burned brighter.

“The night we conceived him…” His throat closed off and he swallowed hard, taking a moment to compose himself. “I was thinking of you.”

Finally, Reno’s mask cracked. “What?”

Rufus refused to look away now. “I hadn’t slept with her in a couple of months… it wasn’t difficult to avoid after father shipped me off to Junon. I was… pleasuring myself to thoughts of you when she paid me a surprise visit. Naturally, she assumed I’d been thinking about her. I didn’t see her again until she showed up with the news.”

For once robbed of a snide comeback, Reno gawked at him. “How the fuck am I supposed to respond to that?” was the only thing he could think of, so he said it.

Rufus chuckled—a short, humorless thing. He bent forward and shaded his eyes with one hand. “It just seemed like you should know.”

Atypically hesitant, Reno moved and sank down onto the other couch next to him. He sat close, but didn’t make a move to touch him.

Rufus did. With seemingly no reservations at all, he placed his hand on Reno’s knee and squeezed it firmly. After a moment, Reno rested his hand atop Rufus’s. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of their breaths.

“So what now?” Reno finally asked.

Rufus huffed a quiet laugh, but didn’t immediately answer. Reno let his thigh press closer. Twisting his hand around, Rufus’s fingers ran up his Turk’s palm and threaded with his fingers, a bit surprised when the pressure was returned just as firmly.

The president finally dared to meet Reno’s blue-green eyes. The Turk stared back steadily, not a trace of doubt shading their vibrancy.

“I have nothing now, Reno. People mock my name.”

“You still have  _ something, _ yeah?” he inquired softly. The man lifted the hand Rufus was holding and pressed a tender kiss to the backs of his knuckles before lowering it once more. “You have the Turks. Say the word, Boss, and we’ll make whatever you want happen, yeah? Ain’t like you to give up.”

Lips twitching in a hint of a smile, Rufus huffed. Reno’s eyes nearly seemed aglow with mako, they shone so as they bored into him. “No, it’s not,” he acknowledged. He let his eyes slide away, finally breaking that intense gaze, and took a moment to compose himself for what he needed to say. No room for assumptions or interpretation. When he was ready, he locked eyes once more. “I’ve missed you, Reno.” He didn’t bother clarifying  _ as more than a Turk. _ Despite his frequent efforts to appear to the contrary, Reno was sharp. He would read between the lines.

The man turned toward him, grip tightening just shy of painful.

A grimace passed over Reno’s face, there and gone before Rufus could place the feeling behind it. “Say the word, yeah?”

A tension he was previously unaware of released in his shoulder and Rufus sat a little straighter.

“Be mine, Reno.”

A grin broke the seam of Reno’s lips, flashing white teeth at him. With no warning at all, the Turk was in his lap, their fingers still intertwined, Reno careful to avoid placing too much weight on his aching legs.

“I never wasn’t, Rufus.” And then, with surprising gentleness, he was kissing him.

Rufus surged into the contact, breath immediately stolen from his lungs. He wrapped the arm that wasn’t already attached to Reno around his waist to drag him closer. Passion and nostalgia gripped him. The smell, the taste, the feel of Reno all too familiar and foreign at the same time. Reno kept the kisses tender, slowly deepening them. Rufus’s mind spun as he drank in the Turk’s soft grunts and moans, felt his breath against his cheek, their tongues falling back into old patterns of welcome caress.

He felt his grief as sharply as ever—perhaps even more so, butted up against this new joy—but the sense of crushing loneliness was nowhere to be found in Reno’s embrace. He felt Reno’s hand, oh so gingerly, trail up his back, to his neck, to trace his fingertips along the bandages of his face. He pulled back. Rufus closed his eyes and tipped his forehead against Reno’s, suddenly too tired for words.

Fortunately, Reno had always been more of a creature of action. He kissed his forehead, then lifted the hand he was still holding to press his lips against it again. Standing, he finally let go, but couldn’t help tucking a few stray hairs behind Rufus’s left ear.

“Let’s get you to bed, yeah?”

Rufus nodded, abruptly angry with himself for being so exhausted when he wanted nothing more than to toss Reno in bed and start making up for lost time.

_ As if you have any left. _

He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Reno, completely oblivious to Rufus’s inner turmoil—or maybe too aware of it—offered him a hand up.

Tomorrow was a new day.

They could stay here just a little bit longer.


	7. Epilogue: Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! At last. ^_^
> 
> All my gratitude to the amazing [Nikasha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikasha/pseuds/Nikasha) for betaing this chapter and just being an awesome writer, supporter, and friend! 
> 
> Epilogue's title is named after Always by Francois Klark. Please listen to it. I think it adds a lot to the mood of the chapter, but it's also just a gorgeous song.
> 
> My entire Reno/Rufus playlist for this fic can be found here: [Playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJOhOL7IdH-AcehJfPoAM04Qq8U35xCDL)

_ Midgar, August 1, 0009 _

At first, no one but Rufus seemed to have noticed the miracle that had just been performed.

The rain had begun to fall, and just like a stain disappearing from a soaking cloth, so too did the stains on his skin disappear. Wonderingly, Rufus lifted his right hand, examining it, though rationally he understood his eyes would not find what his body could no longer feel. There were a couple of soft gasps from the Turks surrounding him.

For the first time since he contracted geostigma, he felt  _ strong. _

Emboldened, he rose to his feet, only to nearly be knocked right off of them. Rufus looked down, unsurprised to see a mop of wet red hair. Eyes softening, he allowed himself one shuddering breath as he gently rested his hand on top of Reno’s head, and then he straightened his spine, the leader of Shinra once more.

“Alright,” he said sternly. “Our work isn’t done yet.” He nodded at Tseng. “There are many at Healen in need of the cure. Collect as much rainwater as you can. We’ll go and distribute it to those too weak to travel.”

The faintest of smiles appeared on Tseng’s face. “Yes, sir. Rude, Elena, with me.”

“What about… oh!” Elena promptly shut her mouth and followed after Tseng. Rude gave him a warning look, but he knew he had nothing to fear from the man. After all, there was no way he was going to make the same mistake twice.

“Reno.”

The Turk turned his head from where he was watching his comrades walk away, turquoise eyes widening upon seeing Rufus standing there, arms open.

In a blur of sparks that tickled along his skin, Reno was in his arms, crying into his shoulder. Rufus wrapped his arms around him tightly, kissing at his temple.

“Ru-u-fus,” he stuttered out, crying harder for a moment before jerking back and pulling himself together with a gasp. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and Rufus couldn’t help but grimace. Reno laughed wetly.

“Aw, c’mon, babe. It’ll wash off in the rain,” he croaked.

“You’re disgusting.” Rufus would never admit to it later, but his voice was just as rough.

They both moved, lips and teeth crashing together in the middle. It was probably the worst kiss he’d ever had. It was also the best.

All the heartbreak that he’d been weighed down by for so long would not go away anytime soon, but there, kissing the love of his life in the rain, the burden felt a little bit lighter.

* * *

_ Healen Lodge, August 2, 0009 _

“You okay?”

Reno was biting his lower lip so hard he was liable to break skin any second. He whined high in his throat. He was just so  _ full. _

Between Sephiroth and Meteor, and the deaths of Arianna and Charlie, and WEAPON, and Rufus’s kidnapping, and geostigma, and then Sephiroth again, kinda… there hadn’t exactly been a lot of time in the last year or two for him to get busy. But Reno wasn’t complaining. On the contrary, that little bit of burn was  _ perfect. _

“I can pull—”

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare!” Reno yelled, clamping down on Rufus’s cock just for emphasis. The other man groaned.

“Shiva, Reno…” 

Yeah, Reno agreed; that had been a foolish move. He relaxed again and they both sighed.

“I think maybe some more—”

“Shh!” Reno silenced Rufus with a finger over his lips. “This round is all about me, sweetheart,” he told him with a sharp smile. “And I want to feel…” he dropped down that last little bit, “every millimeter,” he panted. “Just hold on and let me work.” Slowly, Reno began lifting himself off again, an excruciatingly slow slide that even Reno was impatient with, but the exhilaration of seeing Rufus slowly lose his mind made it worth it.

“You’re killing me.”

“Oh quit yer bitchin’,” he piped happily, sinking down once again. He grunted at a sharp swat to the side of his thigh, but just grinned down at Rufus’s pouting face. Ifrit, he loved this man. As he bottomed out again he stretched forward to kiss those sulking lips, then gasped and Rufus thrust up sharply. “Oh, fuck!” He smacked Rufus’s leg in return, but his hips had a mind of their own, grinding into the angle Rufus had jolted them into. He sighed in absolute bliss. “Oh, fuck me, forget it. Do that agai—  _ hng!” _

Rufus did it again. And again. And again. Until Reno was just one string of wordless cries and curses, bouncing on Rufus’s dick with the man below him somehow doing more than half the work.

_ “Rufus," _ he mewled. “Oh, shit, yes,  _ ah! There there there! _ Ifrit,  _ harder," _ he moaned. Rufus complied with every demand, working him up into yet another frenzy of pleasure, maybe the best he’d ever had.

Though he’d also thought that about the finger job before this. And the blowjob before that. Perhaps they were all the best in their respective fields, but it was kinda hard to analyze that when he was having his brains fucked out.

Reno threw his head back with a deep moan, but he forced his chin down again so he could look into the blue of Rufus’s irises, so thin around his blown pupils. A tear spilled down Rufus’s cheek, and Reno’s lips parted in a soundless gasp. He leaned forward again to wipe it away and kiss his lips. Rufus took it as his cue to shift his legs, hauling Reno up and into yet another angle that had him shouting.

“Rufus,  _ Rufus, _ ” he tapped against his chest frantically as the pressure built exponentially. Strong hands dug into his hips and pistoned hard and deep right against his prostate until white ropes spilled from his cock, overwhelming  _ sensation _ sizzling his every nerve. Right in the middle of it he heard,  _ “Reno!" _ and the familiar pulsing deep in his ass.

Fingers knitted together as panting cries reached a final crescendo and then fell into slowly recovered breaths. Reno sank into another greedy kiss, incapable of filling up on these kisses he'd been denied for so many years. Rufus pressed just as eagerly into the contact, even on the heels of the last of several orgasms. Reno couldn’t remember being quite  _ this _ randy since he was a teenager. Though how could he be anything but? Even if he'd had other one night stands in the interim, he'd been hard up for this man for  _ years, _ and he was finally whole and  _ his. _ Entirely his.

Thinking it softened his kisses, but didn't slow them in the slightest. He worshipped the unblemished skin on Rufus’s face, free of Jenova's poison. Reno got this privilege at great cost. He wasn't ever gonna forget that. But that didn't make his prize any less sweet. In fact, he cherished it more.

Eventually their lips connected with less frequency, slowing into languorous presses that trailed into Reno merely collapsing on Rufus’s chest, bone weary and hole aching in the best kind of way as Rufus’s spend trickled out of him. He sighed, deeply content for the first time in ages. Rufus's warm hand pet down his spine, and Reno began to doze like a contented cat on top of his lover, lulled by his deep and pain-free breathing.

"I love you."

Reno jerked fully awake, rocketing up and accidentally forcing the breath out of his lover, who laughed at him. "Easy, there." He hadn’t stopped petting Reno’s hair and back.

"Say that again," he demanded.

Rufus's expression stayed soft, though his eyes definitely glittered with amusement.

"I love you," he repeated without hesitation. Gently, he stroked one of Reno’s tattoos. "I've always loved you. And I'm sorry it took me so long to be with you the way I should have all along."

Reno gripped Rufus’s wrist in both of his, holding his palm to his face and nuzzling it.

"Don't be." There was no point in it. "You're mine now. That's all I care about."

Much to his surprise, it was true. The past was the past. He laid down on Rufus’s chest again, listening to the heart beating steady and strong underneath. For what felt like the first time, they had a future—unbarred and unlimited.

They both had their wounds. Reno understood that Rufus would carry the grief of losing his son the rest of his life. Arianna too, if they were both honest. Rufus may not have loved her the way he did Reno, but they had been life partners of a different kind, and she gave birth to Charlie.

Things were different than they were on that vacation to Coasta del Sol so many years ago. As they lay skin to skin in the dark whispering new plans for a future that was wholly theirs, Reno couldn’t bring himself to wish for anything else.

Reno had thought of Shinra as home since he was a teenager. He’d never thought it could be anywhere else once he joined up with the Turks. But as much as he still wanted to rebuild Shinra, and as lameass as it sounded, Reno had come to realize that home wasn’t a place. It was his people.

His person.

"For the record… I love you, too."

Rufus's face lit up. Reverent hands cupped Reno’s cheeks, and Rufus kissed him tenderly, melting him to his core.

"From now on," Rufus promised him, "any waiting we do, we do together."

Reno nodded, blinking to clear his eyes. "Together," he agreed.

It was all he'd ever wanted.

And, this time, he would have it forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to talk to me here or on my [Main Tumblr](http://resmiranda13.tumblr.com/) or my [Rufus RP Blog](http://sometimesrufus.tumblr.com/)!


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